Basstanic

Booty Bassment contact info.

2010-02-05T23:15:00.000-08:00

FACEBOOK

MYSPACE

TWITTER

basstanic@gmail.com

Thanks!

Sensitive Little Flowers Always Ruin All the Fun

2009-03-17T20:31:00.000-07:00

Apparently some of the art I make is offensive to some people. I really, really don't mean to offend anyone. I guess I have a somewhat sick sense of humor, and I don't really think about how it affects people. The fact of the matter is that most of the time I really don't care! Maybe I'm a jerk, but I just feel as if people need to stop being so sensitive about things.

The reason I am going off on this dumb tangent is because I have recently caught some flack over the last flier I made for The Worst Music Ever in San Francisco, which is pictured below-

The first indication that I had "stepped over the line" was John from The Knockout informing me that Myspace had deleted my flier from The KO's myspace page, and that I better make a new one. Then there were a couple snarky comments about the flier left on the Facebook event page, which culminated in a little discussion between my friend Claire and I regarding misogyny and such. Really fun stuff, actually.

SO- I just thought I would try to clear the air on this issue, and explain my standpoint the best I can by posting my responses to her concerns and claims of MISOGYNY and SADISM, in a somewhat paraphrased manner, as I do not have Claire's permission to post her messages here. Here goes...

Today at 4:27pm
If somebody is offended by that I don't give a fuck. The woman who posed for the pictures obviously didn't give a fuck either. Would it be misanthropic of me to put some pictures of an ugly fat man posing like a fool on a flier? No one would care. The fact is that no matter if you are misogynist or not, that the woman is ugly, and the absurdity of her posing for such photographs is what I find amusing. Show me one person who finds those pictures to be attractive and I will give you a handshake and an apology. Other than that, I will repeat myself by saying that I don't give a fuck if people take offense to it. I would also suggest that people not take themselves so seriously. Try smokin' a doob and watching some John Waters.
Sent via Facebook Mobile

And here's my second message (slightly less abrasive this time)...

Today at 6:38pm
Of course you are entitled to your opinion, just as I am entitled to mine. But, I reserve the right to poke fun at whomever I please, including myself. I don't know if you noticed the rest of the flier, but my name is "misspelled" Dummytri Dickheadson and Ryan's is Rayn Poulsmoke. Should I be upset with myself for that self deprecation? Preposterous! Not to mention the blatant disrespect to the Rastafari religion through the use of the colors red, yellow, and green. And on top of it all, a general disregard for good taste and artistic balance with the use of the worst fonts I could possibly find. So I'm a misogynistic, anti religious, self loathing art hater. Is that it? Maybe a sadist on top of it all for even doing this event in the first place. Labels are great, aren't they? Way better than art at least.

ALSO- I am most certainly entitled to judge beauty. Not that this flier has anything to do with this issue, but since you bring it up... Ever hear that saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? Well, its true. I would take that one step further by stating that absurdity is in the eye of the beholder. I did not use those images on my flier because I hate that woman, or women in general for that manner. I just think she looks funny!

With that being said, of course you may visit us. I just want you to know that I am right and you are wrong ;) just kidding. Sort of. But for real, its all good.
Sent via Facebook Mobile

And just so you all know, our discussion ended positively and without the use of dirty words like FUCKING COCK SNIFFING FAG or UGLY BACKDOOR WHORE. I love you.

Varg Vikernes To Be Released From Prison?

2009-03-11T22:11:00.000-07:00

HOLY SHIT

I really can't believe this. Two different friends within the last couple days had written me asking if I had heard that Varg Vikernes, the one man wrecking crew behind the infamous and ground breaking Norwegian black metal band Burzum, was going to be released from prison soon. For those who don't know, he was convicted for the murder of Euronymous, guitarist of the equally notorious band Mayhem in 1993, along with alleged arson of several churches around Norway. This guy Varg is a full fledged nutcase. While being a National Socialist and a Neo Nazi, he also just happened to make some of the most inspired and strangely beautiful music out of the third wave of Norwegian black metal.

Since Vikernes was imprisoned, he has made more than one attempt to escape, one time getting rolled in a stolen car loaded to the gills with automatic weaponry and body armor. In short, this motherfucker is no joke. Needless to say, I was in a state of shock when I read this entry yesterday on burzum.org-

11.03.2009

After 16 years of imprisonment Varg Vikernes will soon be released from the prison.

What??? I cannot believe they are releasing him on parole. He was imprisoned in 1996 and began serving Norway's version of a life sentence, which is equal to the amount of time you have been alive. Vikernes was 21 when he was convicted, therefor he was to serve a 21 year sentence, with additional time tacked on later in his term for his failed escape attempts.

I wonder what he's going to do now that he's getting out? He continued making records in prison for a time, but they were super crappy Legend of Zelda sounding synthscapes and shit. What if he starts up where Filosofem left off? Holy shit, that would be amazing!

I suppose I should post some Burzum music for those of you who don't know it. So, here is the Burzum anthology, released last year. Sort of a beginners guide to the band.

BURZUM - ANTHOLOGY

BBSF 03-21-09

2009-03-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

Negative Plane - California Tour dates.

2009-03-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite contemporary black metal bands is coming to California for two shows- San Francisco @ Thee (which brings up an issue I will address later) Parkside on April 10, and Los Angeles @ The Black Castle (misspelled on the flier) on April 11. If you like this kind of thing, then I suggest you go! it is not often that a real band like this tours. I have uploaded their album, Et In Saecula Saeculorum, for your listening pleasure. Follow the link, homes.

NEGATIVE PLANE - ET IN SAECULA SAECULORUM

Oh, and I just wanted to bring up one point... a matter of free floating hatred and an English lesson... Why do people insist on using the ancient THEE spelling to provoke the hard pronunciation of the E at the end of the word THE? It's so stupid! Thee is a totally different word, a form of THOU which means YOU, not THE. Please tell your friends to stop this idiotic madness.

The Best Flier I Ever Made.

2009-03-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

Despondex

2009-03-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

New Dick Product For Your Dick

2009-02-15T22:43:00.000-08:00

"De firs resuls were bery uh.... dramateecal..."

Booty Bassment SF Second Anniversary

2009-02-13T16:11:00.000-08:00

Next weekend Ryan and I are hosting the Second Anniversary of Booty Bassment in San Francisco. The flier says it all... but like I said before, I am going to try to get some t-shirts printed before then too.

That's all. Well, I guess I'll post a video for a song that I cannot get out of my head lately. Remember Nick Lowe? So good. Cruel To Be Kind is infectious. Rad video too!

And happy Friday the 13th!!!

Some Tips For Those Who Have No Game

2009-02-13T10:23:00.001-08:00

I did an interview yesterday with Valentine's Day right around the corner, about SLOW JAMZ. They wanted to know what made the ladies horny or something. So here is my story I sent to them:

Here's a little list of some Ultimate Slow Jamz (with only one Z, because you know we ain't sleepin') for that ass.

In no particular order-

1. Boyz II Men - I'll Make Love To You
This one really speaks to my soul. And my crotch. When those synth horns come in at the beginning, drawers drop. I like the unselfish message of the lyrics too, "I'll make love to you, when you want me to, and I will not let go till you tell me to." A nice bunch of lads they are.

2. Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over
This song just makes me feel real sensual or sensious or something. I like that organ lead in the middle of the song too. It reminds me of A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum, which is a good thing.

3. Deep Blue Something - Breakfast At Tiffany's
Totally not a slow jam, but it makes me laugh so bad to imagine myself making passionate love in the morningtime with this song playing super loud.

4. Can you imagine making some sweet ass love to A Whole New World by some cartoon character from like Aladdin or whatever?

5. The Divinyls - I Touch Myself
This song sends a really odd message to your lover. You are telling your lover that you masterbate.

6. Guns N' Roses - November Rain
November Rain has like that trashy trailerpark love making session sound down pat. The band sounds super dark and magical and whimsical, with the strings and the weird little pan flutes or whatever. And Axl sounds like a mutant cross between a lovesick pterodactyl and a ballsack. A giant green ballsack with wings and a beak strutting magically and whimsically across the stage and wagging his red wig like a maniac.

When I bring a young lady home for an evening of love making, I start with a couple glasses of something nice... nothing cheap, because I have class, but nothing too expensive to show her I'm unpretentious. And also because I'm broke. I offer a Snuggie for to make comfy. Then I offer a nice foot rub by the Amish fireplace. This makes it a lot easier to get to the passionate love making. That's about the time I power up the hi-fi (not the wi-fi) and select a platter that fits our mellow mood. It would either be Mandy by Barry Manilow or Wicked Game by Chris Isaak. Then I would offer my mouth for my lover to feast upon. By that time I know what is coming next: a bj. Just kidding, I come home drunk and fall asleep with Dumb And Dumber still playing.

Some Gnew Gnews.

2009-02-09T15:54:00.000-08:00

I love Ryan's last post. To those of you who do not get it, it is a reference to last month's Booty Bassment in San Francisco at which we accepted a last minute guest dj by the name of Mr. Dibbs. Initially I was a bit apprehensive to have him play, because every time we let someone else in the Circle of Trust (as Ryan and I refer to it), they inevitably let us down. But then I thought about how cool Dibbs was before and I said FUCK IT. He only wanted $200, so we'll take the risk. Besides, El-P (of Company Flow) was coming to hang out too, and that kinda makes me all excited and shaky.

So, the dude shows up at like midnight with all his equipment and thuggy friends. I was already a bit peeved at that, because we then had to tear down all the equipment and rearrange to accommodate our guest. WHATEVER. So we get all his gear up and running and by then Ryan and I had the crowd in the palm of our little hand. Dibbs comes on and pushes play on his iTunes. A mash up of Don't Stop Believin' and Billy Jean comes on. Shit man. I thought this dude was like some hardcore hip-hop guy or something? He proceeds to unleash mash after mash on the poor poor crowd, all the while scratching his dumb little cd mixer thingy and drinking Mickey's Big Mouths. Needless to say, it sucked.

There were a couple songs here and there that worked, but over all the crowd was bummed and so were Ryan and I. I mean, the guy wasn't even DJing! He had blocks of premixed mash ups that he had arranged and played out of iTunes, and he just did cuts and sound effects over them. It was really embarrassing. I politely informed Dibbs that Ryan and I wanted to play the last half hour and that he should wrap it up. He pointed at the 12 minutes and counting number on the track he was playing and I said, "That's fine." 12 minutes passes, and he is still going. After about three songs I looked at him and kinda gave him the WTF face. He just smiled at me and shrugged like "I dunno? Fuck you guys!" I was getting pissed. He FINALLY finished up after playing an El-P song that absolutely nobody gave a shit about, including El-P, and we attempted some damage control with a bounce set.

The night ends and Dibbs is nowhere to be found. Ryan and I start cleaning up and putting all the equipment away. Dibbs is still not around to clean up his gear. So we have to do it, like I'm his goddamn mommy or something. I was fucking over it. We had to pay this fucking guy $200 for dispersing our dancefloor and allowing us to clean up his shit for him. On top of all that, he didn't even thank us and his friends tagged all over the bar and the taqueria next door. Great job, Dibbs!

Now that I got that off my chest I can tell you about some good news. This coming Saturday Mario and I are doing a lil' ol' Valentine's Day Party at The Casbah with our friends Kill Me Tomorrow and Crocodiles. It's gonna be so super rad and lovely.

I also wanted to tell you that the Booty Bassment San Francisco Two Year Anniversary Party is this month on the 21st. We are doing a booty shake contest again and there's gonna be like a whole bunch of weird people disrespecting themselves and others on stage for cash and prizes. I am making some new t-shirts to give away (to girls) and sell (to guys) too. The flier is still in the works but will be up soon. Cool...

Oh and Ryan sent me an instant message this morning that read, "I boned in a snuggie. I rule."

Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of him boning in his Snuggie.

"Can I tell you a secret? I don't like mash-ups"

2009-01-20T22:06:00.001-08:00

+

DOES NOT = PARTY TIME!

Much love to our favorite Bassment dancers and dirty rap lovers!

Booty Bassment Oakland

2009-01-12T17:32:00.000-08:00

Dear, reader

I am pleased to announce that our favorite little rap music night club event, Booty Bassment, has taken another baby step toward worldwide domination: Oaktown. The nitty gritty city across the Bay is perfect for us, I think. This Thursday at The Oasis, we unleash a sonic butt-smack on you fools. Toph One and Rich Dama man the wheels of steel in the front room, and me and Ryan on the old 1s & 2s in the main room. I'm really liking the way those other doggs spinnerate their 12 inchers, too. The night is hosted by Seeeya Later, so it is a guaranteed banger. And for those of you in San Francisco, never fear! We proceed with the same night, same club... Saturday Jan. 17 at The Knockout!

Crapple.

2009-01-06T14:19:00.000-08:00

..
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

I've come out of retirement for something major.

2009-01-05T19:01:00.000-08:00

I haven't written on this goddang blog for a while. You may or may not have noticed. But I have something important to tell you about, or else I would not waste your time. Believe me, that's the last thing I would do. I actually feel a bit rusty right now. Anyway, here's the reason why you're reading this: The Snuggie.

The price on the video is different than current promotion they are running. You can actually own your own Snuggie for a mere $19.95 plus $7.95 P+H (that means "postage and handling"). You get not only this amazing wearable blanket; you get TWO AMAZING WEARABLE BLANKETS, AND a free book light. The only problem I see with the Snuggie is that it's ugly as shit. It looks like a frickin' friar's robe.

The other thing about it is that you can't get secret handjobs under the covers while you and your friends are watching movies in the livingroom. That's a negative. No trapdoor-spider techniques with the Snuggie. That's unfortunate.

My only wish is that I would have seen the Snuggie commercial before Christmas so I could have asked Santa for one. Kinda disappointing. Now I have to buy it myself. Well, the thing is is that I wanted to wear it when I dj at The Worst Music Ever. It just looks so comfy. I always think to myself before I leave the house to dj, "Should I bring the blanket tonight?" But I never do because it's real hard to dj with a blanket on without having arm holes. I've done it before. It was hard. I just want to be real real comfy and warm when I play.

A stocking full of SHIT.

2008-12-13T13:05:00.000-08:00

This coming Thursday, Ryan and I invite you all to join us at The Knockout for Christmas caroling, gift giving, and eggnog in celebration of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Harry Christ. Just kidding. More like listening to ssuuuuuuuper shitty music turned up way too loud, me withering abuse on unsuspecting bar patrons over the microphone, and binge drinking of your grog of choice, which is probably Tecate or some such trash. Actually, I'm going to try to talk John into letting us do a drink special with eggnog. Eggnog/Redbull/vodka maybe. That sounds pretty scrumptious. Oh, and Jamie Jams will be playing all his "original 12 inches" that night too. After this, I will never have to hear him say, "Dude I have that 12 inch" ever again. Thank Jesus' bloody face for that! Just kidding, bro. I might make a Worst Christmas Ever mix cd to hand out too.

And then....

Yes, it's the return of the stupid old Bassment. I am going to try to get you kids some lil stocking stuffers and shit, and actually just read the flier for all the other info.

TJ Ted strikes back!

2008-12-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

If you know me you may know that I work in La Jolla. If you know me you definitely know that I HATE La Jolla. The worst place on Earth. So chock full of spoiled bratty bitches it makes me want to put a jihad on these fools. But, it's not all rich babies there either. There is a homeless bum man named TJ Ted that loiters around my work with his shopping cart, a two liter of spiked Coke, and some kind-ass stanky feet all the time. Dude is demented and drunk and stinky. I don't really dig him so much. One of my coworkers showed me this video of a stupid fucking Jesus freak trying to exorcise "the demons" from Ted's soul, and Ted putting the fool in his place. My opinion of him has been redeemed. I really think Bill Maher would enjoy this one. Peep!

A new remix for that ass.

2008-12-05T23:24:00.000-08:00

I just got done with this remix of 96 Tears by the mighty ? and The Mysterians, and I think it's pretty A.O.K.

Click the link below for a free download.

96 Tears (Booty Bassment Remix)

Booty Bassment returns to Los Angeles

2008-11-26T21:14:00.000-08:00

If you want to come to this dumb party, you have to RSVP to basstanic@gmail.com

Ok?

Ok.

UNFORGIVABLE!

2008-11-18T12:35:00.000-08:00

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

FORMULA C

A whole crap-basket full of fun

2008-11-11T12:31:00.000-08:00

It gives me great pleasure to announce to you that the flaming torch of poor taste and unhappiness has not, and will never be extinguished. What I mean is The Worst Music Ever returns to San Diego this Thursday at The Whistle Stop Bar. The powers that be cannot stop us. Makes me feel all special.

Then, Saturday is Booty Bassment San Francisco. Hopefully I will be rubbing my crotch on some unsuspecting young lady as Ryan slaves away in the dj booth.

And then, Sunday marks a very special Worst Music Ever in San Francisco with my guests Lethal Ethan and Mike Doyle! It's going to be sickening.

We will be celebrating the selection of MTV Europe's award winner for The Best Act Ever:

RICK ASTLEY

Yes, you heard it right.

That fucking dildo won "Best Act Ever". Wow. Maybe I could get a job djing for MTV Europe parties.

The Fifth of November, MMVIII

2008-11-05T11:48:00.000-08:00

Today is the day I have been waiting for for a long time. I can't quite say how long. Obviously most of us can safely say, "I am not satisfied!" when it comes to the way our government in the U.S. has been run over the last eight years, and probably longer. I'm not telling you anything you don't know here, and it goes without saying that we are in a bad way right now. And in elections past, I have barely bothered to vote. I just felt as though it didn't really matter what I wanted, or what I felt would be best for my country, because whatever or whoever it was that I was voting for would not be supported by the majority of voters, or would be struck down by some phantom power. But yesterday, my faith in our democratic process was renewed.

I admit this with a measure of embarrassment, which I can't really explain. I suppose it's my fear of commitment coming to haunt me. I always feel like there is some kind of doom lurking around the corner. Maybe because I have been let down so many times by our leaders in the past. But for some reason I believe in Barack Obama. It's inexplicable, really. I know he has a good voting record. I know he is educated and intelligent. I know he has good ideas. I know he has led a wholesome family life. I know he is an eloquent speaker. But the mystery is the hope that he inspires in people. Part of it has to be the fact that he is black, and it makes me think of what the future could hold for high level politicians and leaders in our country- third party candidates, agnostics and other religions beyond Christianity, women, gays, etc. But there is no doubt that he has captured my hope and he did so before he ever became a viable candidate.

I remember when I first took notice of him. I was listening to KPBS in my car on a Saturday, about a year and a half ago. The host of the show was talking to a guy named Nicholas Lovelady who was a reporter for some newspaper in Illinois. The reporter was telling a story about an event he was reporting on where Obama was giving a speech about some new legislation. I was listening to this story right about when the race for the candidacy had started, and no one really new Obama yet. Nicholas was sitting next to a young lady who he had been trying to holler at for a couple months and had just worked up the nerve to talk to. The young reporter stood up to ask a question.

“Wait a minute son, this is for professional media only,” Obama said to him.

“What do you mean? I work for the local paper,” said Nicholas.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were a college student. You have such a baby face,” he said with a grin.

Everyone in the audience turns around to look at Nicholas and laugh. Including his young lady friend. Oooooh. That smarts, right? The dude was so pissed, that his paper printed a call for Obama to publicly apologize. Funny, but true. I am assuming it was a joke, but they did it. So Barack calls this kid. They had a recording of their conversation which they played on the air.

Obama: This is Barack Obama.

Lovelady: Hey, how’s it going?

Obama: Man, I’m calling to publicly apologize for messing up your game. I read that, I felt terrible, I didn’t know there were any ladies around. And I just want to let you know, that I'm deeply sorry.

When I heard that story, I thought to myself, "Now, here is a real motherfucker, man. This is a politician who is willing to call a regular guy up to apologize for cock-blocking him. That is fucking awesome." I know it's sort of a mundane thing, but to me it is a good measure of a man. I know that Obama sounded a little dickheaded in how he addressed this Nicholas character, but he acknowledged his mistake and apologized. Great, just great.

And so I followed him throughout his heated race with Hillary as his campaign was forged. He won the candidacy, and I thought he might be able to do this, but maybe America is still too stupid. Guess what? We aren't. Thank you, my country. Maybe now I won't have to go to my other country, Australia, to see a dentist. We are excited and ready for change. Let's make it happen.

And another thing; Obama, stop making me cry. I feel like a wuss over here. If I have to see that image of Jesse Jackson weeping with joy one more time I'm gonna... probably just well up with tears again. What do you want from me? Jeez.

Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election

2008-10-21T11:08:00.001-07:00

Dis Sadderday

2008-10-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

I think it's a pretty nice flier. Me, Rob, and since Lucy can't make it, the beautiful Rachel at the door, taking your hard earned cash. Thanks for that.

Proceed to the dang Knockout

2008-10-15T00:08:00.000-07:00

Silly stupid shit

2008-10-14T23:52:00.000-07:00

See what a Palin presidency would look like by clicking here.

And don't forget...

Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition

2008-10-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

Photos from the Anniversary/Booty Shake Contest

2008-10-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

Here are the photos from the Booty Bassment Sixth Anniversary Party in August, taken by my friend Lawrence Braun. Not bad, eh?

And the winner is...

I didn't see it, but apparently she showed everyone her vagina. That's how you win a contest. That's called dedication. Good work, friend.

Foot In Mouth disease.

2008-10-01T17:38:00.000-07:00

If you didn't get the quote from the previous blog, then watch this video clip of Palin and her latest fumble. They seem to be getting more and more embarassing as time passes. Poor lil' bugger.

Tricking People into Doing the Right Thing

2008-10-01T13:15:00.001-07:00

Here is an interesting article I read in Good Magazine today, because much like Sarah Palin, I read "all of em, any of em that have been in front of me over the years."

Tricking People into Doing the Right Thing

Words By Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein

Anyone who has studied psychology knows just how puzzling human behavior can be. Busy people are trying to cope in a complex world, and this means they simply cannot afford to think deeply about every choice they have to make. The bottom line is that people are, shall we say, nudge-able. With subtle hints, you can convince them to do things they otherwise might not be able to do for themselves. And we think private and public institutions ought to offer carefully planned nudges—designing choices that are less heavy-handed and more effective than mandates and bans.

Here are a few possibilities:

Quit smoking without a patch. Committed Action to Reduce and End Smoking is a savings program offered by the Green Bank of Caraga in Mindanao, Philippines. A would-be nonsmoker opens an account with a minimum balance of one dollar. For six months, the client deposits the amount of money she would otherwise spend on cigarettes into the account. After six months, the client takes a urine test to confirm that she has not smoked recently. If she passes the test, she gets her money back. If she fails the test, the account is closed and the money is donated to a charity. MIT’s Poverty Action Lab found that opening up an account makes those who want to quit 53 percent more likely to achieve their goal. No other antismoking tactic, not even the nicotine patch, appears to be so successful.

Stop compulsive gambling. Over the past decade, several states, including Illinois, Indiana, and Missouri, have enacted laws enabling gambling addicts to put themselves on a list that bans them from entering casinos or collecting gambling winnings. The underlying thought is that many people who have self-control problems are aware of their shortcomings and want to overcome them. Sometimes recreational gamblers can do this on their own or with their friends; sometimes private institutions can help them. But addicted gamblers might do best if they have a way to enlist the support of the state.

Dollar a day. Teenage pregnancy is a serious problem, and girls who have one child, at, say, 18, often become pregnant again within a year or two. Several cities, including Greensboro, North Carolina, have experimented with a “dollar-a-day” program, by which teenage girls with a baby receive a dollar for each day that they are not pregnant. Thus far the results have been extremely promising. A dollar a day is a trivial amount to the city, even for a year or two, so the plan’s total cost is extremely low, but the small recurring payment is just enough to encourage some teenage mothers to take steps to avoid getting pregnant again. And because taxpayers end up paying a significant amount for many children born to teenagers, the costs appear to be far less than the benefits. Many people are touting “dollar a day” as a model program.

No Bite? No Drink. Those who want to stop biting their nails can buy bitter nail polishes such as Mavala Stop and Orly No Bite. A more extreme version of this concept is a drug called Disulfiram, which is given to some alcoholics. Disulfiram causes alcohol drinkers to throw up and suffer a hangover as soon as they start to drink. For some people suffering from chronic alcoholism, Disulfiram has had a strong and positive effect as part of a treatment program.

Stop men from peeing on the floor. Authorities at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam have etched the image of a black housefly into each urinal. It seems that men usually do not pay much attention to where they aim, which can create a bit of a mess. But if you give them a target, they can’t help but try to hit it. Similar designs have been implemented in urinals around the world, including mini soccer goals, bulls-eyes, and urine video games (seriously). Do they work? Since the bugs were etched into the airport urinals, spillage has decreased by 80 percent.

"A gay-loving elitist Muslim"

2008-09-30T10:12:00.001-07:00

Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain

Letterman rips poor lil' old McCainypoo.

2008-09-25T17:46:00.000-07:00

If you aren't aware, John McCain was scheduled to appear on The David Letterman Show last night, but canceled at the last minute, saying he was needed immediately in Washington to assist with the negotiations regarding the 700 billion dollar Wall Street bailout. Letterman was absolutely fuming and the results are hilarious! John McCain should be very sad today.

The Washington Independent wrote a succinct but apt article comparing Letterman to Walter Cronkite in his condemnation of the Vietnam War. Read the article here.

And just as a little side note, I decided to look at Obama's myspace page... whatever, looks cool and everything. So then I thought to look at McCain's myspace page. Curiously, his page didn't even work. A couple pictures popped up and then rest of the page was just broken. I found it to be a bit amusing. Oh, and Obama has about five times as many friends as McCain has, too. What a loser. I probably have more friends than Johnny has.

The Placemats

2008-09-24T13:41:00.000-07:00

The Replacements' 1984 release Let It Be has a special place in my heart. My dad used to listen to Pleased To Meet Me when I was a kid, I guess I was 11 at the time, and I liked it, but I never totally latched on to it like I did some of the other music he listened to when I was young (Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, The Stones, Talking Heads, etc.). But years later when I was working at Music Trader, a German guy named Marc told me about this record and he said in a heavy accent, "You have to listen to it. It's badass," or something to that effect. So I bought it, as well as the two albums preceding it, Sorry Ma..., and Hootenanny. Out of the three, Let It Be struck deep with me and stayed there. These songs are so manic and loose, so trashy, so funny, so gut-wrenching, and just plain exciting. This is definitely shower/morning music for me. Songs that you can't help but sing along to and wonder how Paul Westerberg came up with such awesome and simple melody. Let It Be is definitely their finest achievement.

Here is a free download of the newly re-released version of Let It Be, with bonus tracks and everything. If you already have this album, you may want to download it for the extra material anyway. Here's the track list:

- I Will Dare
- Favorite Thing
- We're Comin' Out
- Tommy Gets His Tonsils Out
- Androgynous
- Black Diamond
- Unsatisfied
- Seen Your Video
- Gary's Got A Boner
- Sixteen Blue
- Answering Machine
- 20th Century Boy
- Perfectly Lethal (Outtake)*
- Temptation Eyes (Outtake)*
- Answering Machine (Solo Home Demo)*
- Heartbeat - It's A Lovebeat (Outtake - Rough Mix)*
- Sixteen Blue (Outtake - Alternate Vocal)*

download LET IT BE here

A Mention in the SF Weekly

2008-09-24T00:13:00.000-07:00

Our friend Jamie Jams has been receiving a fair amount of attention for his 90's night at The Knockout called Debaser. I have never been able to attend because I'm never in San Francisco when he does it, but everything I've heard is good. Anyway, they got another write up in the SF Weekly, and the reporter mentioned us in the article. Pretty cool. Read the article here.

Free Floating Agression 9/23/08

2008-09-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

Shitty commercial time!

Last Sunday I got a text message from my friend reading, "The NFL is using a Smiths song." Incredulous, I asked, "Which one?" He replied, "Everyday Is Like Sunday." I couldn't believe it. It's actually a Morrissey song, but anyway, I was watching tv last night and the very commercial comes on. But it's a really shitty cover version. I wonder if Morrissey gave his consent or if that's even required?

The next one is a Snickers commercial for BBC that was pulled off the air because it is perceived as being homophobic. You tell me what you think.

And here's a little blurb I found on Youtube with some more gay-bashing rant from our buddy, Mr. T.

Great job!

2008-09-21T23:38:00.000-07:00

This weekend I play records for some fools.

Oh, and I'm happy to say that Duh Boody Bassmens won the award for Best Hip-Hop Nightclub For White People in the San Diego Musics Award. Congratulations, guys! Great job!

Great job!

Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas

2008-09-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas

Palin/Clinton parody on SNL

2008-09-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

We have all been waiting for Tina Fey's Sarah Palin, and it is AWESOME-

Stripper Shit

2008-09-15T18:15:00.000-07:00

I was reading the Skull Knotrol blog today and I pept the Am I Demon video by my mans Danzig, and it made me think of the She Rides video. We show the old Danzig video collection video at Booty Bassment in San Francisco sometimes and I always love when the She Rides video comes on because it looks so much like a Booty Bassment flier to me: scantly clad young ladies, metal dudes, and a stark background... perfect. I especially love the beginning of the video with the swaying thoia-thong over the bad 80's butt tattoos. This is the ultimate lap dance song, right? And Glenn's hair? Incredible. Danzig wishes he was still this cool.

And the award for the Worst Movie Ever goes to...

2008-09-15T16:58:00.000-07:00

So, we all know that Johnny Knoxville is an idiot, but last night I watched a movie that really set him as the linchpin in the world of idiocy: The Ringer. If you haven't seen this movie, you absolutely must. It sucks so many sweaty llama balls that it makes I Am Sam look like Shakespeare.

The basic premise is that Knoxville is forced by unfortunate circumstance to enter into the Special Olympics (even though he is not technically "special") with the express purpose of dethroning the reigning champion decathlete, simultaneously winning his broke and gambling addicted uncle a large bet and earning enough cash to have the three fingers his gardener inconveniently lost in a lawn mower accident sewn back on. Yeah, it's stupid and offensive; always a good combo. As you who know me may well attest, I am not necessarily opposed to offending folks, but this one takes it there.

I must say though that for me, it's actually Knoxville's performance that causes the big stench. I know you're saying, "No big surprises there," but really, the sheer ineptitude of his "Jeffy" character is remarkable, as late as this review may be. Constantly referring to himself in third person is enough to drive anyone up a wall ("Jeffy likes you."), but to see him dancing around with a stunned-mullet grin at a Kids Of Widney High concert just takes the cake. It must be seen to be believed, so below is a montage of clips from the movie.

And here is the music video "Pretty Girls" by The Kids Of Widney High. A certified platinum hit, sure to get some play at this Thursday's Worst Music Ever.

I just had an epiphany- I think that this Thursday (September 18) at the Worst Music Ever at The Knockout in San Francisco we will start the night with a showing of the Worst Movie Ever, The Ringer. Yes, I think that sounds great. We shall start the movie at approximately 9 pm. Thank you.

And now for something completely different.

2008-09-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Rebecca for this one... soooo good.

A nice lil' sweet article about our boy.

2008-09-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

Today I got my daily newsletter from the Rasmussen Reports and it read, "The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Friday shows John McCain up by three points, his largest lead since Obama wrapped up the Democratic Presidential Nomination. " Needless to say, I began to have a slight anxiety attack. I really, really don't get it. Why on earth do people like Sarah Palin so much all of a sudden? It's such a sham and the Republicans (and swing voters for that matter) can't even see it.

Then I received an email from a member of the San Diego Obama campaign that made me feel a bit more at ease. This article in The American Prospect is very well written, and has enough links to occupy your paranoia riddled mind for at least an hour. A welcome respite in this, my hour or torment.

Please read this and pass the link along!

Read the article here.

And it would like to let it be known at this point, I am completely obsessed with the election at this point, and I will most likely be in a state of frenzy until November 5. Just sayin. Please bear with me.

On the Seven Year Anniversary of the 9/11 Attacks.

2008-09-11T00:11:00.000-07:00

If you don't watch any other video on this page, please watch this one. This is a monologue by Keith Olbermann yesterday about the blatant disregard for the memory of those killed in the attacks on the WTC. Olbermann says it best-

"This is supposed to be a day of remembrance. Remembrance of the attack, remembrance of the national unity which followed it.

Most important of all, remembrance of the dead.

But 9/11 has become a brand name. A Republican campaign slogan. Propaganda of the lowest form. 9/11 has become 9/11 with a trademark logo."

Please watch this and pass it along!

2008-09-10T11:35:00.001-07:00

I know I'm probably boring you all to tears with all this politickin' and shit, but goddamnit, this is the most important issue in America today and I want to be able to say that I actually tried to help Obama in the Presidency so that when McCain wins I don't feel bad about moving to Australia. I'm sorta just joking. But anyway, here are five more videos on McCain that every voter should watch.

The Real McCain Part 2-

Less Jobs. More Wars: What is this 'Iraq war' charge on my bill?

The Real McCain Part 1-

McCain's Spiritual Guide: The video that caused McCain to renounce Rev. Rod Parsley's bigoted endorsement-

Why Won't McCain Sign the GI Bill? Presenting the most blatant hypocrisy of the McCain campaign-

Please tell everyone you know about these double standards. Imagine what they would think of Senator McCain if they saw these videos!

More lies please! Thank you.

2008-09-10T00:44:00.000-07:00

This is an article that appeared in the Washington Post about some fishy per diem fees Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska while acting as governor.

Read the article here.

This next article in the UK Guardian talks about the false claims by the McCain campaign that Sarah Palin opposed the "Bridge To Nowhere" in Alaska.

Read the article here.

I don't know where the Guardian got their poll numbers from, but all the polls I heard about today read Obama one point over McCain.

Palin has outright lied with her "Thanks, but no thanks," mantra a total of seven times, even after being confronted with the fact that she did not oppose the bridge, but endorsed it. What the fuck? Why do they think they can just say whatever they want and people will just take it as truth?

Also, she did not stop the building of the bridge, as the McCain campaign claims. Congress stopped it, and then Governor Palin neglected to give the money (223 million) back! What a maverick!

In the words of my room mate Ryan,

2008-09-09T22:28:00.000-07:00

"Why does it take The Daily Show to give us the truth?" No shit, man. Here are a couple videos which CANNOT be denied by anyone. Silliness aside, the clips they use speak for themselves.

More stupid bullshit.

2008-09-09T14:53:00.000-07:00

Blah blah babble yabble boo.

THANK GOD FOR ANNE KILKENNY

2008-09-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

I was listening to NPR the other day, and they had an interview with a woman named Anne Kilkenny from Wasilla, Alaska, the same small town that Sarah Palin is from. She was busy fielding calls and emails (hundreds per hour) because of an email she had written her friends about Sarah Palin, who she is on a first name basis with since school. I was naturally intrigued, so I looked it up.

Here is her letter, in full, for your enjoyment. And don't forget to forward this along to anyone you know who wants to know more about our political candidates!

A note to all by Anne Kilkenny

Dear friends,

So many people have asked me about what I know about Sarah Palin in the last 2 days that I decided to write something up . . .

Basically, Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton have only 2 things in
common: their gender and their good looks. :)

You have my permission to forward this to your friends/email contacts
with my name and email address attached, but please do not post it on
any websites, as there are too many kooks out there . . .

Thanks,
Anne

[ Note by web_admin: This was already posted on Washington Independent

comments area and was meant by the author to be read by many, but
readers need sourcing. The NY Times has talked with Anne since. ]

ABOUT SARAH PALIN
I am a resident of Wasilla, Alaska. I have known Sarah since 1992.

Everyone here knows Sarah, so it is nothing special to say we are on a
first-name basis. Our children have attended the same schools. Her
father was my child's favorite substitute teacher. I also am on a
first name basis with her parents and mother-in-law. I attended more
City Council meetings during her administration than about 99% of the
residents of the city.

She is enormously popular; in every way she's like the most popular
girl in middle school. Even men who think she is a poor choice and
won't vote for her can't quit smiling when talking about her because
she is a "babe".

It is astonishing and almost scary how well she can keep a secret. She
kept her most recent pregnancy a secret from her children and parents
for seven months.

She is "pro-life". She recently gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby.
There is no cover-up involved, here; Trig is her baby.

She is energetic and hardworking. She regularly worked out at the gym.

She is savvy. She doesn't take positions; she just "puts things out
there" and if they prove to be popular, then she takes credit.

Her husband works a union job on the North Slope for BP and is a champion snowmobile racer. Todd Palin's kind of job is highly
sought-after because of the schedule and high pay. He arranges his
work schedule so he can fish for salmon in Bristol Bay for a month or
so in summer, but by no stretch of the imagination is fishing their major source of income. Nor has her life-style ever been anything like that of native Alaskans.

Sarah and her whole family are avid hunters.

She's smart.

Her experience is as mayor of a city with a population of about 5,000 (at the time), and less than 2 years as governor of a state with about 670,000 residents.

During her mayoral administration most of the actual work of running
this small city was turned over to an administrator. She had been pushed to hire this administrator by party power-brokers after she had gotten herself into some trouble over precipitous firings which had given rise to a recall campaign.

Sarah campaigned in Wasilla as a "fiscal conservative". During her 6
years as Mayor, she increased general government expenditures by over
33%. During those same 6 years the amount of taxes collected by the
City increased by 38%. This was during a period of low inflation
(1996-2002). She reduced progressive property taxes and increased a
regressive sales tax which taxed even food. The tax cuts that she
promoted benefited large corporate property owners way more than they
benefited residents.

The huge increases in tax revenues during her mayoral administration
weren't enough to fund everything on her wish list though, borrowed
money was needed, too. She inherited a city with zero debt, but left it
with indebtedness of over $22 million. What did Mayor Palin encourage
the voters to borrow money for? Was it the infrastructure that she said
she supported? The sewage treatment plant that the city lacked? or a
new library? No. $1m for a park. $15m-plus for construction of a
multi-use sports complex which she rushed through to build on a piece
of property that the City didn't even have clear title to, that was
still in litigation 7 yrs later--to the delight of the lawyers
involved! The sports complex itself is a nice addition to the
community but a huge money pit, not the profit-generator she claimed it
would be. She also supported bonds for $5.5m for road projects that
could have been done in 5-7 yrs without any borrowing.

While Mayor, City Hall was extensively remodeled and her office
redecorated more than once.

These are small numbers, but Wasilla is a very small city.

As an oil producer, the high price of oil has created a budget surplus
in Alaska. Rather than invest this surplus in technology that will
make us energy independent and increase efficiency, as Governor she
proposed distribution of this surplus to every individual in the state.

In this time of record state revenues and budget surpluses, she
recommended that the state borrow/bond for road projects, even while
she proposed distribution of surplus state revenues: spend today's surplus, borrow for needs.

She's not very tolerant of divergent opinions or open to outside ideas
or compromise. As Mayor, she fought ideas that weren't generated by
her or her staff. Ideas weren't evaluated on their merits, but on the basis of who proposed them.

While Sarah was Mayor of Wasilla she tried to fire our highly respected
City Librarian because the Librarian refused to consider removing from
the library some books that Sarah wanted removed. City residents
rallied to the defense of the City Librarian and against Palin's
attempt at out-and-out censorship, so Palin backed down and withdrew
her termination letter. People who fought her attempt to oust the
Librarian are on her enemies list to this day.

Sarah complained about the "old boy's club" when she first ran for
Mayor, so what did she bring Wasilla? A new set of "old boys". Palin
fired most of the experienced staff she inherited. At the City and as
Governor she hired or elevated new, inexperienced, obscure people,
creating a staff totally dependent on her for their jobs and eternally
grateful and fiercely loyal--loyal to the point of abusing their power
to further her personal agenda, as she has acknowledged happened in the
case of pressuring the State's top cop (see below).

As Mayor, Sarah fired Wasilla's Police Chief because he "intimidated"
her, she told the press. As Governor, her recent firing of Alaska's top
cop has the ring of familiarity about it. He served at her pleasure
and she had every legal right to fire him, but it's pretty clear that
an important factor in her decision to fire him was because he wouldn't
fire her sister's ex-husband, a State Trooper. Under investigation
for abuse of power, she has had to admit that more than 2 dozen
contacts were made between her staff and family to the person that she
later fired, pressuring him to fire her ex-brother-in-law. She tried to
replace the man she fired with a man who she knew had been reprimanded
for sexual harassment; when this caused a public furor, she withdrew
her support.

She has bitten the hand of every person who extended theirs to her in
help. The City Council person who personally escorted her around town
introducing her to voters when she first ran for Wasilla City Council
became one of her first targets when she was later elected Mayor. She
abruptly fired her loyal City Administrator; even people who didn't
like the guy were stunned by this ruthlessness.

Fear of retribution has kept all of these people from saying anything
publicly about her.

When then-Governor Murkowski was handing out political plums, Sarah got
the best, Chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission: one
of the few jobs not in Juneau and one of the best paid. She had no
background in oil & gas issues. Within months of scoring this great
job which paid $122,400/yr, she was complaining in the press about the
high salary. I was told that she hated that job: the commute, the
structured hours, the work. Sarah became aware that a member of this
Commission (who was also the State Chair of the Republican Party)
engaged in unethical behavior on the job. In a gutsy move which some
undoubtedly cautioned her could be political suicide, Sarah solved all
her problems in one fell swoop: got out of the job she hated and
garnered gobs of media attention as the patron saint of ethics and as a
gutsy fighter against the "old boy's club" when she dramatically quit,
exposing this man's ethics violations (for which he was fined).

As Mayor, she had her hand stuck out as far as anyone for pork from
Senator Ted Stevens. Lately, she has castigated his pork-barrel
politics and publicly humiliated him. She only opposed the "bridge to
nowhere" after it became clear that it would be unwise not to.

As Governor, she gave the Legislature no direction and budget
guidelines, then made a big grandstand display of line-item vetoing
projects, calling them pork. Public outcry and further legislative
action restored most of these projects--which had been vetoed simply
because she was not aware of their importance--but with the unobservant
she had gained a reputation as "anti-pork".

She is solidly Republican: no political maverick. The State party
leaders hate her because she has bit them in the back and humiliated
them. Other members of the party object to her self-description as a
fiscal conservative.

Around Wasilla there are people who went to high school with Sarah.

They call her "Sarah Barracuda" because of her unbridled ambition and
predatory ruthlessness. Before she became so powerful, very ugly
stories circulated around town about shenanigans she pulled to be made
point guard on the high school basketball team. When Sarah's
mother-in-law, a highly respected member of the community and
experienced manager, ran for Mayor, Sarah refused to endorse her.

As Governor, she stepped outside of the box and put together of package
of legislation known as "AGIA" that forced the oil companies to march
to the beat of her drum.

Like most Alaskans, she favors drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife
Refuge. She has questioned if the loss of sea ice is linked to
global warming. She campaigned "as a private citizen" against a state
initiaitive that would have either a) protected salmon streams from
pollution from mines, or b) tied up in the courts all mining in the
state (depending on who you listen to). She has pushed the State's
lawsuit against the Dept. of the Interior's decision to list polar
bears as threatened species.

McCain is the oldest person to ever run for President; Sarah will be a heartbeat away from being President.

There has to be literally millions of Americans who are more
knowledgeable and experienced than she.

However, there's a lot of people who have underestimated her and are regretting it.

CLAIM VS FACT
-Hockey mom: true for a few years
-PTA mom: true years ago when her first-born was in elementary
school, not since
-NRA supporter: absolutely true
-social conservative: mixed. Opposes gay marriage, BUT vetoed a bill

that would have denied benefits to employees in same-sex relationships
(said she did this because it was unconsitutional).
-pro-creationism: mixed. Supports it, BUT did nothing as Governor to
promote it.
-Pro-life: mixed. Knowingly gave birth to a Down syndrome baby

BUT declined to call a special legislative session on some pro-life
legislation
-Experienced: Some high schools have more students than Wasilla has
residents. Many cities have more residents than the state of Alaska.

No legislative experience other than City Council. Little hands-on
supervisory or managerial experience; needed help of a city
administrator to run town of about 5,000.
-political maverick: not at all
-gutsy: absolutely!

-open & transparent: ??? Good at keeping secrets. Not good at
explaining actions.
-has a developed philosophy of public policy: no
-a Greenie: no. Turned Wasilla into a wasteland of big box stores
and disconnected parking lots. Is pro-drilling off-shore and in ANWR.

-fiscal conservative: not by my definition!
-pro-infrastructure: No. Promoted a sports complex and park in a city
without a sewage treatment plant or storm drainage system. Built
streets to early 20th century standards.

-pro-tax relief: Lowered taxes for businesses, increased tax burden on
residents
-pro-small government: No. Oversaw greatest expansion of city
government in Wasilla's history.
-pro-labor/pro-union. No. Just because her husband works union
doesn't make her pro-labor. I have seen nothing to support any claim
that she is pro-labor/pro-union.

WHY AM I WRITING THIS?
First, I have long believed in the importance of being an informed
voter. I am a voter registrar. For 10 years I put on student voting
programs in the schools. If you google my name (Anne Kilkenny +
Alaska), you will find references to my participation in local
government, education, and PTA/parent organizations.

Secondly, I've always operated in the belief that "Bad things happen
when good people stay silent". Few people know as much as I do because
few have gone to as many City Council meetings.

Third, I am just a housewife. I don't have a job she can bump me out
of. I don't belong to any organization that she can hurt. But, I am no
fool; she is immensely popular here, and it is likely that this will
cost me somehow in the future: that's life.

Fourth, she has hated me since back in 1996, when I was one of the 100
or so people who rallied to support the City Librarian against Sarah's
attempt at censorship.

Fifth, I looked around and realized that everybody else was afraid to
say anything because they were somehow vulnerable.

CAVEATS
I am not a statistician. I developed the numbers for the increase in
spending & taxation 2 years ago (when Palin was running for Governor)
from information supplied to me by the Finance Director of the City of
Wasilla, and I can't recall exactly what I adjusted for: did I adjust
for inflation? for population increases? Right now, it is impossible
for a private person to get any info out of City Hall--they are
swamped. So I can't verify my numbers.

You may have noticed that there are various numbers circulating for the
population of Wasilla, ranging from my "about 5,000", up to 9,000. The
day Palin's selection was announced a city official told me that the
current population is about 7,000. The official 2000 census count was
5,460. I have used about 5,000 because Palin was Mayor from 1996 to
2002, and the city was growing rapidly in the mid-90's.

Anne Kilkenny
August 31, 2008

Youtube magically solves all of your political questions.

2008-09-09T09:53:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show exposes the secrets of Small Town Values-

A little wake up call about Palin-

McCain tries to sound Presidential, but ends up sounding like your grandma-

Bush tours America to survey damage caused by his disastrous Presidency-

Obama sets the record straight-

This is what I am listening to RIGHT NOW

2008-08-30T16:46:00.000-07:00

1983. Ohio. Hardcore.

NECROS!

download Conquest For Death here

Thanks, fool.

2008-08-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday was the Booty Bassment in San Diego, and a notable one indeed. Six years has past since we started doing our little old thing at the Whistle Stop. It was a great time. We did the booty shake contest, we had Nite Jewel from L.A., we had Ryan Poulsen from S.F., we had Mario Orduno from Art Fag, and of course, good old Rob Moran. So much fun!

I just wanted to say that I really appreciate everyone who has come to the Bassment in the past six years. You have made it fun for me to play the same rap records over and over again, and you have given me yet another excuse for searching out new stuff (which is probably my favorite pass time). Lawrence Braun took photographs, which I have not seen yet, but I will post them as soon as I get them. Thanks again to everyone who has made this event possible!

Beer and Rap

2008-08-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

A couple months ago I was talking to Mario and Nate at a party about rap records that we love. I mentioned the old St. Ides commercials from the 90's that Ice Cube and Wu-Tang and others had done, and they didn't know what I was talking about. I have been thinking about these ads for ages, wishing I still had those old video cassettes that I had taped back then with hours of Rap City videos and probably all those amazing St. Ides commercials.

My dreams have been answered by a special man named DJ Drank. He put together a compilation with all 30 commercials produced by E-Swift, Sir Jinx, DJ Pooh, and King Tee with a veritable who's who of golden era rappers including Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg, Warren G, The Geto Boys, Eric B and Rakim, EPMD, MC Eiht, Yo Yo, and of course, The Wu. All the songs are short; most about one minute. But, for a fan of 90's rap like me, this is amazing.

These ads were surrounded by controversy in the media and by activist groups. St. Ides was accused of advertising their products to teenagers through the voices of their foul mouthed idols.

"Getcher girl in the mood quicker... Getcher jimmy thicker with St. Ides Malt Liquor." Mr. Ice Cubes

Who can say, but St. Ides sales increased by 25% that year. Not too shabby. Unfortunately, the ad campaign was dropped, simultaneously depriving the public of all these great malt liquor soaked ditties, as well as opening the door for Cristal to take the place as the drink of choice in the rap community (even if Cristal didn't want it).

I hope you enjoy this comp. as much as I do. Download it below (they are 320 kbps mp3s... the entire album is about 69 megs).

DJ Drank's Greatest Malt Liquor Hits

The Presidential Picks

2008-08-14T10:36:00.000-07:00

Heard a funny story on NPR the other day. Like ta hear it? Here it go....

The two presidential candidates were asked to give their top ten songs. Kind of some odd picks in there. John McCain's number one is especially ridiculous:

John McCain's Top Ten

1. 'Dancing Queen' ABBA

2. 'Blue Bayou' Roy Orbison

3. 'Take a Chance On Me' ABBA

4. 'If We Make It Through December' Merle Haggard

5. 'As Time Goes By' Dooley Wilson

6. 'Good Vibrations' The Beach Boys

7. 'What A Wonderful World' Louis Armstrong

8. 'I've Got You Under My Skin' Frank Sinatra

9. 'Sweet Caroline' Neil Diamond

10. 'Smoke Gets In Your Eyes' The Platters

Barack Obama's Top Ten

1. 'Ready or Not' Fugees

2. 'What's Going On' Marvin Gaye

3. 'I'm On Fire' Bruce Springsteen

4. 'Gimme Shelter' Rolling Stones

5. 'Sinnerman' Nina Simone

6. 'Touch the Sky' Kanye West

7. 'You'd Be So Easy to Love' Frank Sinatra

8. 'Think' Aretha Franklin

9. 'City of Blinding Lights' U2

10. 'Yes We Can' Will.i.am

I'm not mad at ABBA by any means, but number one? Jeez, Louise, bro. Looks like someone forgot to grow a pair.

Actually, I don't really get Obama's number one, either. I mean, it's not as lame as McCain's, but almost like he was trying too hard.

In equally idiotic news, some idiot decided it would be a good idea to make a Barack Obama action figure. Don't fucking ask me.

Why do we have to have an action figure for ever prominent figure in American society? It's stupid. Save the petroleum it takes to make this pointless piece of plastic (that will probably be worth $3,000 in 20 years) and fill up your Escalade with it instead. All the full grown men that still collect toys should really reevaluate their lives.

My suggestion to curb this childish behaviour is for all the ladies out there: if you go over to a guy's house and he has action figures hanging on his wall, don't fuck him, and tell him why you aren't going to fuck him. He will quickly mend his foolish ways, and we will all be saved the pain of seeing our political figures being mocked by being modeled into a Curious George looking toy.

Another point against the mental retards that made this toy is that they are charging $15 for it, and only giving $1 to Obama's campaign for every toy sold on the internet. Weak.

Fucking American Shit-Cunts

2008-08-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

I was watching the tube the other night when something terrible happened... a commercial. Yes, I know this is enough to drive anyone up the bloody wall, but I had some special disdain for this one.

It was a fricking Mars Bar commercial using the song Ça Plane Pour Moi by Plastic Bertrand. Great song. It always makes me sad when they use good songs for commercials because I can't focus as much hateful energy toward being subjected to advertising when it's on.

When I was looking for the commercial on the Youtubes, I stumbled upon this lil' doozy commited by Snickers. They use a really bad cover of the song for it.

Earhole cleaning time- the original song by Plastic Bertrand from 1978.

And now the weird gay and violent cover(?) version by Elton Motello, Jet Boy Jet Girl.

Download both versions of the song below-

Plastic Bertrand - Ça Plane Pour Moi

Elton Motello - Jet Boy Jet Girl

Our Six Year Anniversary

2008-08-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

August marks the six year anniversary of Booty Bassment in San Dagotown, brol. We are all purrty excited by this, so we's doing a big old git-together on the 23rd. Ryan Poulsen, my partner in San Francisco, Rob Moran, Bassment originator, and Nite Jewel, from L.A., will all be gracing us with their stench on this night of wonder. It is also Dogg Captain Orduno's birthday, so come and pay your tributes to the man by listening to his selections.

We will also be having another booty shake contest, and if you were at the last one, you know you will not want to miss this. Cash and prizes go to the least disgusting contestants. The celebrity MC and judges will be announced this week. Stay tuned.

Free Floating Agression 8/10/08

2008-08-10T20:42:00.000-07:00

I am watching the Olympics right now; it's ladies gymnastics. Pretty cool, but a commercial for Direct TV came on and ruined me for the next few minutes. Remember my previous post regarding the Lollapalooza references all these idiots keep making? (Read it here.). Well, in this commercial, Jimmy Kimmel refers to a football game as a, "Hail-Mary-Palooza." What the hell, bro? What the fucking hell, broseph? Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Bad move, dogmaster. That commercial places your ass on my shit-list.

In other news, I have decided to begin my campaign to speak out against Willow, from the movie Willow. I am in full support of Burgelkutt.

Also, I have decided to protest my company, Basstanic, and all events promoted by my company.

Diplo Bites Me Part II

2008-08-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

Huh... I actually got a response from my email to Mad Decent. If you haven't read the blog before this one, then do that and then come back here.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: MAD DECENT
Date: 01 Aug 2008, 11:03

Hey Dimitri,

This is DJA, the engineer and producer at mad decent who suggested we start using black metal influenced design. We all actually do enjoy black metal music (especially me, i've been aware and listening to it in various forms since I was a kid in the 90s) We don't think its a joke.

I really like the darkthrone style logo on the first few. Why would you get so mad about this? We aren't blatently stealing anything from you, we weren't aware of your fliers before we made any mad decent related black metal style imagery.

The thing with Vice, i dunno. Didnt that guy do a photo style thing like 4-5 years ago and just now Vice decided just recently to flip it for a kinda half baked article?

derek

+++++++++++++++++++ Here's my response +++++++++++++++++++++++

Hello, Derek.

Thanks for your quick response. I guess my reaction is kind of pointless, now that I think about it. The thing is, which I explained in my first email, that for people who know about Booty Bassment, the flier art always comes part in parcel. What I mean is that people know when they see some weird corpsepainted dude standing in front of a Rolls Royce on 20's parked in front of a burning church that it is a Booty Bassment event. So, when I see other people in the "dj world" using the imagery from black metal, it is just too close for comfort. I don't feel as though I'm being unreasonable about this.

I suppose it was bound to happen at some point. But when I came up with the idea to mix the stark black and white photocopied images of black metal with the misogynistic and opulent imagery of modern rap, no one was doing it. Like I said, most people didn't even know what black metal was.

The fliers I make are more than just an advertisement for me. My first concern with each one is the image. This is why I am upset. Because I have been doing this event for almost 6 years and I have made every single flier for every event. That is one a month for 6 years in San Diego, one a month for almost two years in San Francisco, and a couple for our recent Los Angeles events.

I guess it is just another trend that is bound to play itself out (see examples)-

http://flickr. com/photos/dimitridickinson/2385440893/

http://flickr. com/photos/dimitridickinson/2722465229/

Thanks for your time.

D

Diplo rips me off again.

2008-07-31T17:39:00.001-07:00

Man, this really stinks. I have been noticing some people ripping my artwork off lately.... well, at least my black metal style collage stuff.... and it's really ticking me off.

The first one I noticed was the label for Hollertronix #8. They took the cover of Welcome To Hell and changed the Venom logo to say 'Holler'. Who cares, really? Well...

...I talked to my friend Omar from San Francisco about this very topic. He told me that he had recently DJed with Diplo. Diplo handed Omar a sticker of the Hollertronix #8 label. Omar asked him, "Hey, have you ever heard of Booty Bassment or the Basstanic Group? Have you seen their artwork?" Diplo responded with a terse, "Yeah. It's cool," but came off like, "Why the fuck are you asking me that?"

The next offense was offered by San Diego's own Transport, hosted by Gabe Vega and Saul Q. (who is really super cool, and in no way indicted in this trial).

Not long after that, I saw this record by Bobmo.... I don't know.... some electro bullshit. But they used a fake Darkthrone logo on it. WTF, bro...

Then, I saw some pictures of Diplo wearing some death metal shirts and like hanging out in cool places. In one he's wearing a Sepultura shirt and standing in front of The Kremlin. Again, I say meh.... close but no cigar, chump.

(I couldn't find the Kremlin pic, so here's another one... in front of a cool wall).

Today, I logged on to www.myspace.com and I saw this goddamned piece of shit flier on the Mad decent page:

In my humble opinion, the boy is stealing my shit. Am I tripping? He used the fucking Mayhem logo, and pentagrams, and all that. I'm not having it. So, I wrote our friend Dipshit, I mean Diplo a letter:

Let me start this by saying that I respect you as an artist and I like your music and I even play it sometimes at my events. I am writing you this email though, because I have a problem with your recent Mad Decent promotional materials.

I saw the Venom rip-off, I saw the Bathory t-shirt, and etc.... but this Mayhem/Death flier has just gotten me to the tipping point. Granted, I don't do the changing-up-the-logo thing, but really.... I have been doing black metal influenced artwork for my club events for 5 years now, and no one cared until that stupid True Norwegian Black Metal book came out on Vice. Now everywhere I look people are chomping and biting.

I have spent an inconceivable amount of hours at the xerox machine and the computer making this artwork for my clubs. I do not, and have never hired anyone to make a single piece of art for me, and I am proud to say that. The only reason I even feel comfortable using these images of black metal dudes is because I really love the music. If it was something I wasn't totally into, I would have forgotten about it a long time ago. I do an exclusively black metal radio show called WAR GOAT RADIO on a pirate station in San Francisco and I have a black metal band with my brother out of San Diego. I am not telling you this to brag; I merely wish to point out to you that I am a true fan, and although my images are always rendered with my tongue firmly in cheek, I still have utmost love and respect for the genre and it practitioners.

Do you love black metal? I guess it doesn't really matter in the scope of things, but this flier makes me wonder if creativity and originality are words that mean anything to you. These images that I have created for Booty Bassment are it's identity, and you are blatantly stealing it. I do not appreciate this at all.

The problem for me is that you are in the public eye much more than I am, and therefor according to those who do not know who I am, it is now your identity. If it were just a random flier or something, I would not care. But being that I am seeing more and more of these images from you, I felt this letter was necessary. The fliers I make mean a lot to me, and I think if you look at them you will see that.

Sincerely,

Dimitri Dickinson

P.S. I left a bit of a rude comment on the Mayhem flier before I wrote this email. I was shocked and angry, so please excuse my insult, if any was taken.

I will let you all know if I get a response, but I'm not expecting one.

NXNP and Free Floating Aggression

2008-07-31T12:46:00.000-07:00

This Saturday is gonna be masterful. You see, there's this dumb North X North Park thing going on.... but real quick, why does everyone have to rip other people's ideas off?

That does it. I am officially starting the Things That Are Pissing Me Off (also known as The Free Floating Aggression) section of my blog with this.

Why do people always steal everyone else's ideas instead of coming up with their own? Like _____aplooza. Have you seen this? All these idiots have decided that all you have to do when you are having some sort of event is to take a word and splice it with the last part of the Lollapalooza name, and everything will be fine. No, everything is not fine, butthole, especially when you do that. I don't want to go to Crabapalooza at Red Lobster, I don't want to go to Horseapalooza at the Del Mar Race Track, and I don't want to go to Faggypalooza at Balboa Park. How about my Fistapalooza in your Faceapalooza?

ALSO- no more fucking GOT MILK stickers! When, oh when will this bullshit cease? I mean I have seen everything: Got Sand? Got Dirt? Got Aloha? Got (picture of Calvin pissing on the Chevrolet symbol)? Why would I have sand? I ask you this.

I want to make one that says 'Got Creativity? No, obviously you don't, because you keep using this tired goddamn catch phrase that MILK doesn't even use anymore because it doesn't have to because every goddamned idiot in this god forsaken country uses it for their stupid little failing company's bumper sticker so every time I see it I think of MILK.' It'll cover my whole fucking window.

The solution to this problem is the same as the former: Got Fist In Your Face?

So anyway, this Saturday is gonna be fuckin sweet, bro. There's gonna be beer and bitches and some fuckin-A sweet ass killer bands. Yes, it's called North (by) North Park, just like SXSW. Yes, that is dumb. No, it doesn't make any sense because South by Southwest is referring to the position of Texas on the map, and North by North Park.... bro, it's just gonna be sweet-ass, bro. Alright?

My first concert or Metallican't

2008-07-29T18:28:00.000-07:00

I know it's old news, but Metallica sucks. Now, I mean. Coincidentally, I was in attendance at the moment when it all started to go downhill for them. And to add to the coincidence, it was my very first concert.

This was the tour supporting their new record, "The Black Album", which was the stumbling block from which they fell flat on their faces. Some argue that ...And Justice For All was the one, but I enjoyed that album then, and I still like it now. Some of my best memories of Jr. High are connected to that record. Like when my best friend Reza and I first got the cd, we took it into his older brother's bedroom to listen to it because he not only had a killer sound system in there, but his room looked like it belonged in a Sharper Image catalogue. So cool. He had a fricking fake brick wall and a fire hydrant in there. So we put the cd in, turned off the lights, and laid down on the floor so we could listen to the new Metallica and watch the laser light machine he had interpret the music for us.

Anyway, the Black Album had just come out (this is 1992), and me and my friend Jason Bowden decided to get tickets for the show at the Sports Arena. Jason ended up selling his ticket to a friend, Tobi Nathaniel. So I walked in the Sports Arena by myself and nervously found my seat and waited, anxious to see the world's best band.

Metallica came on and ruled hard, of course, except for one thing which I will never forget: Kirk Hammett, at the end of a lengthy solo, took his guitar off and played it with his butt. I don't specifically remember how I felt about this at the time, but my entire adult life I have known in my heart that this was the reason that Metallica now sucks so many donkey dicks. Well, that and Kirk cutting his hair, James going in and out of rehab, Lars thinking that they were the best band in the world, and the band as a whole going on a fricking inquisition to stop people from downloading their music (including actually suing their own fans for it).

I guess the first thing that went wrong for Metallica was losing their original bassist, Cliff Burton. This had a irreversible effect on the band that was not for the good. Poor Jason Newsted; he really had some big shoes to fill. In the end, Jason left the band for Voivod, explaining that Metallica had become something that they had all been in reaction against in earlier years. Good man.

The next offense was trying to cross over to a more pop sound. This was just the coup de grace for them. I didn't get into Metallica until right around when ...And Justice came out, so really the first time I realized they were starting to suck was when Kirk strummed his guitar with his butthole.

Anyway, I was telling my friend Melissa about this very story, and I remembered that that concert I was at was taped for a video release. So I took my ass to Youtube, and sure enough, the very Kirk Hammett solo was there. It is pretty long and the guitar-playing-butt isn't until the very end, but I suggest you watch.

Here is Metallica's setlist for the show that night:

1. Enter Sandman
2. Creeping Death
3. Harvester Of Sorrow
4. Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
5. Sad But True
6. Wherever I May Roam
7. Bass Solo
8. Through The Never
9. The Unforgiven
10. Justice Medley
11. Eye Of The Beholder
12. Blackened
13. The Frayed Ends Of Sanity
14. ...And Justice For All
15. Drum Solo
16. Guitar Solo (no! OH NOOOOOO! argh.....)
17. The Four Horsemen
18. For Whom The Bell Tolls
19. Fade To Black
20. Whiplash
21. Master Of Puppets
22. Seek And Destroy
23. One
24. Last Caress
25. Am I Evil?
26. Battery
27. Stone Cold Crazy

Foolio Iglesias

2008-07-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

I don't even know what to title this one.

2008-07-24T22:51:00.001-07:00

Last week I was driving with my friend and we were listening to the Dave, Shelley, and Chainsaw Show on KGB (that's on the FM dial). For those who don't know, it is a long running radio talk show in San Diego. Pretty funny stuff, but questionable politics. Anyway, it made me think of a funny story.

About three years ago, I was working for this car service... you know, I wear a suit, and drive rich folk around so they can get wasted. One of our dispatchers was this girl named Emily who is a producer on the D.S.C. (The Dave, Shelly, and Chainsaw Show), and can be frequently heard on the show. At the time, Shelly from the D.S.C. was using us to get around to parties and shit. So I had to pick Shelly and her husband up from this party at Dave's house. You know, Dave... also from the show. He owns this big place in Poway.

So, I ring the doorbell and they tell me to come in and hang out because they weren't ready to leave yet. They tell me to make myself comfortable and have some food. I am feeling slightly uncomfortable because I am -

A. Overdressed
B. Unfamiliar with these people
and
C. Sober

I see Emily and some other people over by the chocolate fountain, so I join them. I have a couple strawberries dipped in chocolate and Emily begins to tell us that she had recently made a visit to the throat doctor to get her tonsils checked out. They were hurting. The doctor looks at them and says, "You have bruises on your palate. Have you been partaking in some extreme oral sex techniques?" We all started laughing and Shelly turns to me and asks if I was the one bruising Emily's palate. My embarassment reached new levels at that moment. But it gets worse.

Emily says, "Watch this," and picks up a marshmallow and a skewer. She inserts the marshmallow into her mouth and pushes it all the way back into her throat. She fucking deep-throated a marshmallow. Then when she pulled the marshmallow out of her mouth, it was covered in chocolate. It was so disgusting.

I was embarrassed and confused by her antics and wondered if she was trying to hit on me or if she was just in a black out. Even then I couldn't tell she wanted this. What the heck, man.

Anyway, here is a picture of Emily.... she is the one on the left.

Can't he just have a heart attack or something soon? Please?

2008-07-22T18:12:00.000-07:00

And don't forget about this.

These dang Meskins

2008-07-21T23:53:00.001-07:00

HAI!

2008-07-17T12:21:00.000-07:00

CUTE ATTACK

2008-07-14T21:18:00.001-07:00

I dunno, you guys.... I kinda feel like I forgot to grow a pair today. I'm talking about huevos here. Well, here's the thing: I saw WALL-E last night, and the shit was damn good. I mean, it was just about as cute as a goddamn fuzzy bunny, fer chrissakes. I won't ruin the plot or anything, but let's just say that it wasn't your average cartoon. It was clever, funny, well animated, and even had a good message. Let's not forget that "C-word". And, how is it possible that I can have sentimental feelings for a robot and his pet cockroach? I ask you this.

Also, they had a short before the main feature... it was called like... Presto, or some such shit. That shit was funny as HELL. I am just saying, go watch this dang movie. It's worth it. Just prepare to be bowled over by a tidal wave of cuteness.

In other news, I finally received my Furze - Necromanzee Cogent l.p. in the mail today. I now own all the Furze l.p.'s., two seven inches, and the ten inch. I am so proud of my self. Now I only have to track down the Necromanzee demo (1998), the Zaredoo demo (1998), the Trident Black Metal Feast demo (1999), the Leizla demo (2000), the Necrosaint Black Metal Progressor demo (2001), and The Wild Black Henbane demo (2005). Jeez-Lou-fucking-Weez. I need to take up bird watching or something.

The weekly run-down

2008-07-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

This Thursday I'll be back in San Francisco to bring the motherfucking ruckus on your eardrums with all your favorite shitty hits. The Worst Music Ever is the best night ever. A special respect goes out to our fucking doggmaster Jamie Jams for always repping us so hard and dropping the name in his SF Weekly interview (which I seem to not be able to find at the moment, but here's a review of his awesome 90's tribute night, Debaser).

Incidentally, there is a photo of Manjari in this article, looking ravishing as always.

For those fools that aren't scared, Booty Bassment is Saturday. Get over yourself and make an appearance. You might be able to hump a leg or two.

Alsooooooooo.... Ryan and I are DJing at Casanova on Valencia for Sunday happy hour. Come listen to our favorites, not just our club selections.

Cool.

Chakora

2008-07-08T21:23:00.000-07:00

Chakora is a blog written by my old friend Brian Frank, also known as Bhagavan Das, who I met about 12 years ago while he was living in the Hare Krishna temple in Pacific Beach, San Diego.

I used to go and eat at the temple every week because they served really great vegan prasadam. Anyway, this guy would be selling the Bhagavad Gita out on the streets in full Krishna monk garb, but he would also be wearing some raver stacked shoes and a feather boa or some shit. Dude was crazy and awesome. He now lives and works in New York City, and the mania is alive and well. Read all about it here.

A side note; he is also the one who introduced me to black metal. So that's that.

Black Metal has been officially B.F.ed (that means butt fucked)

2008-07-08T19:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know.... I mean, I use corpsepainted black metal dudes in my stupid Booty Bassment fliers... for some reason I feel like it's different than this bullshit I'm about to show you.

Some fashion designer named Alexandre Herchcovitch used fully corpsepainted runway models for his Spring/Summer 2008 men's line. This sucks so many sweaty-hot-wieners. A video of this cocker spaniel shit can be seen here.

It's just obvious this fruity fucking shitbird got ahold of the True Norwegian Black Metal book (which has just been released through Vice Books... bad news) and just took a big old bite. Oh, you are so on the edge, you fuckhead. I know you don't listen to Nargaroth!

Please tell me if I am tripping on some double standard shit. I am feeling like I need to change my design style or something. Ugh...

Fug

2008-07-07T12:42:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have heard the news that my partner in the San Diego chapter of Booty Bassment and I have decided to part ways. I will continue to host BB without Ikah, but I wanted to post this mix that he and I made about four years ago. It's pretty cool.

Booty Bassment DJs (Dimitri & Ikah) - BBSD 2 Year Anniversary Mix(2004)

My attempt at consistency

2008-07-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

I heard an interview on NPR last week with a man who had recorded a sixty second piece of music everyday for one year straight. I was very impressed by his achievement, if not for the quality of the music, but for his dedication. So I decided to try my own hand at this idea: sixty sixty second songs in sixty days.

These compositions, along with others by Melissa Meyer and Chris Stamm may be found here.

A day late and a dollar short

2008-07-05T00:51:00.001-07:00

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

— John Hancock

New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

The grossest blog ever

2008-07-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

The creepiest of all creeps, Bozo The Clown, also known as Larry Harmon, died Thursday at the age of 83 of congestive heart failure. Probably just got too creepy to live anymore.

It is now not known who will take over the burden of scaring the crap out of kids with demented looking face make-up. Perhaps the children will have to listen to black metal.

In other news, the first pregnant "man" gave birth on Monday. The trans-gender mommy, Thomas Beatie said, "The only thing different about me is that I can't breastfeed my baby. But a lot of mothers don't."

No, Thomas, that's not the only thing different about you. You also have a cock and balls. Fools are tripping.

Happy B-day, U.S.&A.

2008-07-03T00:52:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I am djing between bands for these motherfuckers called Thin Man and some other dirty bastards called Northern Towns. They are good ass bands and I'm a good ass dj. So there. It's at the Tower Bar (at which I miserably lost an eating contest to none other than Michael Bova last week. Evidently I suck at eating).

Scaring them straight

2008-06-28T02:39:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to see that movie Mongol with my friend Rachel. I guess it was about retarded people or something.... I dunno, it was ok I guess..... Anyway, we were driving south on Park Blvd. and I was trying to show off my bad ass air horn I recently installed in my 1991 Toyota Corolla luxury sedan.

The first guy I saw was standing on the corner of Park and University holding a rotisserie chicken or something. I was like, "Watch this." and I blared my loud ass horn at him, to no avail. Fool just had chicken on his mind I guess. Undaunted, I drove on, sure I would find a victim.

As we past The Flame, I spotted two gay dudes... well, I presume they were gay that is, because they looked like this:

So I honked that shit right at them... it's this three tone melody in a fast sequence like.... FUHDELUH-FUHDELUH-FUHDELUH...

The one gay... I mean... guy on the street side of the sidewalk almost had a fucking heart attack. I am not exaggerating as I describe this. He jumped back into his special friend with his whole body twisted in defense, his face contorted in utter terror, his eyes all aglow, his panties all abunched.

Me and Rachel were about to die laughing. I had to pull the goddamned car over to just let it all out like Depeche Mode. Holy crapola, that was good. I am telling you, there was ne'er a better $25 spent in my pathetic little life. I recommend this fun lil' activity to anyone who has nothing better to do on a Friday night than drive around torturing fools.

This is the horn I have under my sweet hood:

Myspace.com is for the weak

2008-06-26T00:41:00.000-07:00

I guess I don't realize how lame people are sometimes. I posted this flier on myspace:

and some weak ass bitch reported it and had it deleted. This is not the first time this has happened. Why do people hate butts? I don't get it. Whatever. All I had to do is put a little cloth over it and it's all better now. Here's the all new pussified version:

I dunno... I feel like it looks better anyway. Cool.

Wase got married today, everyone!

2008-06-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

Yo wuzzup, bizznittiliatch. This weekend is OURS at The KO in San Francisco. Saturday is Booty Bassment and Sunday is The Worst Music Ever. OH FUCK YEAH BROL. Be there or I'll spank you with a wooden spoon.

Obama's new campaign song

2008-06-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

So I was listening to this song while I was driving home from L.A. this evening, and holy shit... it is my jam for sure. I was getting so hyped that I could barely keep me head from shaking and nodding at the same time while making a really mean looking thizz face.

Anyway, I was tihnking that it's pretty cool that Obama is using Signed, Sealed, Delivered as his campaign song, but it would be even cooler if he used this song by Arnie Love & The Lovettes. It's melodic and funky and fucking tough all at the same time and it would scare the crap out of John McCain. I'm pretty sure he would just hand his wallet and watch to Barack the next time he came face to face with him. Punk bitch. RUN YO SHIT!

Oh, and look at this stupid picture.

Arnie Love & The Lovettes - We've Had Enough

JUSTICE FOR HUGUES, JUSTICE FOR ALL

2008-06-15T01:01:00.000-07:00

Furzey-poo

2008-06-11T00:36:00.000-07:00

I just couldn't wait. Actually, now that I think about it, why has it taken me so long to post this album? It was my number 1 for 2007, hands down. This shit just about melted my face off the first 50 times I listened to it, and still gets me so hype every time I hear the first blistered notes of A Life About My Sabbath. I know I am kind of beating the crap out of a dead horse with this Furze thing, but I really can't say enough about this demented shitbag called Woe J. Reaper. GENIUS. There. I wrote a review on this record a while back that you can read here.

Furze - UTD

"Boiled down to its very essence, metal is nothing more than a mixture of molasses and alienation."

2008-06-10T17:57:00.000-07:00

These words, so aptly penned, belong to a young lady known only as "Megan" who writes one of the coolest blogs I have come across recently (thanks to Wase for the heads up). It is called The Black Oven, and it is a blog about baking sweets... from a black metal perspective. I don't want to ruin all the great surprises found on this blog, so just go there and look for yourself.

I am feeling so generous after reading this blog, that I have decided to share a couple rips from my personal collection with you. These are two rare and out of print records I bought off of Ebay (for entirely too much) by one of my favorite black metal bands (actually, a one man band) called Furze.

These are two super raw and weird pieces of black metal psychosis. Dude is straight fucking crazy. Read the liner notes on the 10" for proof.

I will be posting a couple Furze LPs soon, too, which are more produced and probably a little easier on the casual listener. Maybe. But what do I know.

Furze - Furze 10"

Furze - First Feast For Freedom 7"

I like quilts...satanic black ones!

2008-06-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

Joo diamons look like Christmas

2008-06-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

This is my fucking dog, Chingo Bling. If you are not familiar, here is the first line off of his Wikipedia page:

Chingo Bling was born Pedro Herrera III. He graduated from Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas in 2002 with a BS in business administration, was a member of the national business fraternity ΑΚΨ, and is CEO and founder of the record label Big Chile Enterprises[1].

So, he is fucking crazy. He has a pet rooster named Cleto, vaquero boots with Nike swooshes on the side, he sells tamales out of the trunk of his lowridercar (I think that's what they call them), and he makes fucking weird music. And he has mad bideos on jootubes.com, but my favorite one, the bideo for Walk Like Cleto, isn't there anymore. If anyone knows where it can be found, please let me know.

Below is a link to download his first album. I left out the last two tracks, because the file would have been too big and they aren't that great anyway.

Chingo Bling - Duro en la Pintura

Brobama: Fuck What Yo Mama Say.

2008-06-04T00:48:00.000-07:00

Fool clinched it. To celebrate the fall of Billary (the pork-barrel whore), I give you this masterpieceofshit. Although, I kinda love it. And just so you know, Worst Music Ever will be back in San Dawgz sometime in July at The Whistle Stop Bar.

Bonus Beats

Noteworthy events in New York & L.A. by our friends, Milkfat Films.

2008-05-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

This Thursday in New York.

This Sunday In Los Angeles.

Note that you MUST RSVP to get in. RSVP here. Visit milkfatfilms.com

The Worst Music Ever in the SF Weekly.

2008-05-26T23:06:00.000-07:00

"Worst" DJs Dimitri Dickinson and Ryan Poulson (sic).

Read the article here.

Beeg ath Booty Bathmenth in Loth Anheleth, baby bish.

2008-05-26T21:21:00.000-07:00

It's gonna be CRAZYTOWN just like last time. Fuck it.

Goa Trance DJs have nothing on this guy.

2008-05-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

You know.... I'm not so hot on the masturbatory scratching records thing.... But this guy is on some other shit. I give up.

.........Just a Sneak Peek....

To Hyph or Not To Hyph

2008-05-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

In a response to commercialism in Hip Hop, dudes in the Bay Area started their own movement in the early 90's. After years of huge hits nowhere, the "movement" gained mainstream success in the early 2000's with YouTube Hyphy suburban kids "Ghost Riding" whips. Some had ghost ridden correctly, while others failed miserably. What was the point of the movement? More than anything, it was cheap laughs on YouTube, and a reason for white people to Shake Dem Dreads.

See these turds bro down in the suburbs:

Hi, Kenny. That video just reminded me of this lil' ol' doozie:

Ghostride my dick,

Dimitri

BBSF 05/17/08

2008-05-07T17:57:00.000-07:00

Here's that sick-ass flier I was promising. It's kinda cute, I think.

San Francisco shite.

2008-05-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

Some people wonder why we persist with this bullshit called The Worst Music Ever. Why? Because good music is played out. That is why. But the real question is not why, but when.

Wednesday, May 14 at The Knockout in San Francisco. That's right, joto. No matter how hard all our detractors (that means haters, dummy) try to stop it, it can't be stopped.

But with that being said, it looks like we won't be doing it again at The Live Wire. Jeez, Louise. Matt and Thad , the bartenders at Live Wire hate us and I'm pretty sure it's their fault that the owner told us NO DICE. Never fear, young one. The Worst Music Ever will rise like a phoenix from the ashes, only to burn brighter. Hopefully at The Whistle Stop. The bartenders there aren't walking around with a pint glass stuck up their ass all day, so they have that going for them.

Oh, there is also another cool show at The KO on the Thursday after WME... by none other than our San Diego comrades Skull Kontrol, The Crocodiles, Fantastic Magic, and The Carrots from Austin. It's gonna be fucking sick, bro.

Aaaaaaaaand.... The Booty Bassment, San Francisco is that Saturday. Don't have a flier for that yet, but it's coming. Ryan and I are playing a couple other random events that week in San Francisco that you should peep as well. I know Friday we'll be at 222 Hyde and some other shit I can't think of. Whatevers.

John McCain's new direction.

2008-05-06T01:45:00.000-07:00

John McCain's new campaign theme song.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2008-05-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

Last night, Dan and I graced our adoring public with the first of what will become (if the bar staff doesn't have any say in it) a monthly edition of The Worst Music Ever at the Live Wire. It was frickin awesome, bro-ski.

Although we had no microphone hooked up for which to accost the audience, we still managed to reap some intense hatred from them. A number of times we were pelted by ice cubes, wadded napkins, and other miscellaneous missiles, not to mention all the "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"s and middle fingers. Man, they hated us last night.

The coupe de grâce came from the classic, Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton. Right when it dropped, I could barely hear the music over the roar of a highly dissatisfied crowd, to say the very least. People always get so angry when we play that one. Some girl was overheard saying, "Fuck him. His son deserved to fucking die." Ouch.

At the end of the night, Dan asked Matt, one of the bartenders, if it was as shitty as he thought it would be. Matt replied saying, "It was worse. It wasn't fun, it wasn't funny, and it fucking sucked."

Admittedly, some people had a good time. All this dancing and smiling... this has got to stop. It is now our mission to end this madness. We are here to bring the pain to the masses; end of fricking story.

Here are some "party pics" from last night's festivities...

Shake Appeal - on some next.

2008-04-30T00:11:00.000-07:00

We have officially parted ways with The Beauty Bar (good riddance to bad trash) and our next Shake Appeal is going to be MAJOR. It's at an all new location for this time only, and I can't say where right now because the owner is very sensi with this shit, but just think back to the good old golden era of the rave.... let's say 1992... and imagine where you would find yourself, high on cheap acid, with your face being melted off by 10 bass bins. Yes, THAT is where Shake Appeal is going to be.

And just the icing on the cake... a special set by (thee) Mike B of LAX and Banana Split (L.A.). If you haven't heard what this guy is doing, it's time to wake from the nap. Great mixtapes, great remixes, great edits, and he is actually a great dj on top of it all. No sneakers in the dryer here, unlike some.

I mean, come on! He's about as cuddly looking as a goddamn Koala. Really.

Presale tickets will be on sale at 5 & A Dime for $5. $3 tickets available for a limited time exclusively through our email RSVP - shakeappealrsvp@gmail.com. And it will be $7 the night of the event.

Doors open at 11pm and close ???

Mike B - Live from LAX

Mike B - SPLIT Mix

Mike B myspace

Knish Hit Squad myspace

Graveleaf myspace

VonStroke me.

2008-04-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

This dude is a good producer. I've never seen him perform, but this Thursday he's playing at Universal... the new "gay/not gay" bar in Hillcrest.

RSVP for guestlist to

shakeappealrsvp@gmail.com

And please specify Claude Von Stroke in your message, along with your full name.

Click the link below for a FRESH VonStroke song.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

We win and you lose.

2008-04-27T11:49:00.000-07:00

It is with great joy that I announce to you the official return of my favorite event, THE WORST MUSIC EVER. We reconvene at The Live Wire in San Diego next Saturday. Regrettably, Ibiza Mark will not be joining 50 and me to torture the shit out of you with dreadful music, excessive gun shot and air horn sound effects, and verbal abuse on the microphone. But the show must go on, as they say.

If you don't go, I will find out where you live, park outside your bedroom window at 3 am, and blare Flies in the Vaseline by Stone Temple Pilots full blast while honking the three tone airhorn Brandon and I just installed on my Corolla. Then, I'll hitchyuh in the lip with my shin bone.... putcher lip on the pavement... letchyuh talk to the pavement for a while.

The Neverending Story Theme

Sick-ass ARTE.

2008-04-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

Look at this amazing flier Melissa made for us. It's just the best, bro. Well, Booty Bassment San Diego is tonight at The Whistle Stop, so come. And peep the Melissa Miserable blog. She is keewl and stuff.

Some ol' new shizer.

2008-04-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

I just completed this new song yesterday, entitled You Be Jiggillin'. It's a club banger in the Baltimore style and it kinda melts my face off a lil' bit. Please click the link below to download that ass.

You Be Jiggillin'

"It's like Rosie O'Donnell at a bi-sexual bridal shower."

2008-04-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

I don't even want to say anything about this video. This shit is.... it's just fucked, alright?

Baby is HAPPY.

2008-04-20T23:48:00.000-07:00

This weekend I have been in San Francisco doing my two favorite events... Booty Bassment and The Worst Music Ever. The children are really taking to the idea that shitty music is for dancing to at the bar. I couldn't be any happier about this development in my life.

So, here's the big news.... Sam (the owner of the Whistle Stop where we do BB at in San Diego), just confirmed May 3rd for The Worst Music Ever at Live Wire. That is a Saturday. Holy Shit! I can not wait. I'll whip up a flier soon enough. Fuck The Zombie Lounge in the goat-ass.

Also, Ryan finally uploaded one of the videos from the Booty Bassment San Francisco one year anniversary party which we had a butt-shake contest at. It was fun. Conceit did a good job MCing for us and the crowd was great. Here is the final round...

Basstanic

Booty Bassment contact info.

Sensitive Little Flowers Always Ruin All the Fun

Varg Vikernes To Be Released From Prison?

BBSF 03-21-09

Negative Plane - California Tour dates.

The Best Flier I Ever Made.

Despondex

New Dick Product For Your Dick

Booty Bassment SF Second Anniversary

Some Tips For Those Who Have No Game

Some Gnew Gnews.

"Can I tell you a secret? I don't like mash-ups"

Booty Bassment Oakland

Crapple.

I've come out of retirement for something major.

A stocking full of SHIT.

TJ Ted strikes back!

A new remix for that ass.

Booty Bassment returns to Los Angeles

UNFORGIVABLE!

A whole crap-basket full of fun

The Fifth of November, MMVIII

Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election

Dis Sadderday

Proceed to the dang Knockout

Silly stupid shit

Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition

Photos from the Anniversary/Booty Shake Contest

Foot In Mouth disease.

Tricking People into Doing the Right Thing

"A gay-loving elitist Muslim"

Letterman rips poor lil' old McCainypoo.

The Placemats

A Mention in the SF Weekly

Free Floating Agression 9/23/08

Great job!

Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas

Palin/Clinton parody on SNL

Stripper Shit

And the award for the Worst Movie Ever goes to...

And now for something completely different.

A nice lil' sweet article about our boy.

On the Seven Year Anniversary of the 9/11 Attacks.

MORE

More lies please! Thank you.

In the words of my room mate Ryan,

More stupid bullshit.

THANK GOD FOR ANNE KILKENNY

Youtube magically solves all of your political questions.

This is what I am listening to RIGHT NOW

Thanks, fool.

Beer and Rap

The Presidential Picks

Fucking American Shit-Cunts

Our Six Year Anniversary

Free Floating Agression 8/10/08

Diplo Bites Me Part II

Diplo rips me off again.

NXNP and Free Floating Aggression

My first concert or Metallican't

Foolio Iglesias

I don't even know what to title this one.

Can't he just have a heart attack or something soon? Please?

These dang Meskins

HAI!

CUTE ATTACK

The weekly run-down

Chakora

Black Metal has been officially B.F.ed (that means butt fucked)

Fug

My attempt at consistency

A day late and a dollar short

The grossest blog ever

Happy B-day, U.S.&A.

Scaring them straight

Myspace.com is for the weak

Wase got married today, everyone!

Obama's new campaign song

JUSTICE FOR HUGUES, JUSTICE FOR ALL