Saturday, December 13, 2008

A stocking full of SHIT.

This coming Thursday, Ryan and I invite you all to join us at The Knockout for Christmas caroling, gift giving, and eggnog in celebration of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Harry Christ. Just kidding. More like listening to ssuuuuuuuper shitty music turned up way too loud, me withering abuse on unsuspecting bar patrons over the microphone, and binge drinking of your grog of choice, which is probably Tecate or some such trash. Actually, I'm going to try to talk John into letting us do a drink special with eggnog. Eggnog/Redbull/vodka maybe. That sounds pretty scrumptious. Oh, and Jamie Jams will be playing all his "original 12 inches" that night too. After this, I will never have to hear him say, "Dude I have that 12 inch" ever again. Thank Jesus' bloody face for that! Just kidding, bro. I might make a Worst Christmas Ever mix cd to hand out too.

And then....

Yes, it's the return of the stupid old Bassment. I am going to try to get you kids some lil stocking stuffers and shit, and actually just read the flier for all the other info.

Monday, December 8, 2008

TJ Ted strikes back!

If you know me you may know that I work in La Jolla. If you know me you definitely know that I HATE La Jolla. The worst place on Earth. So chock full of spoiled bratty bitches it makes me want to put a jihad on these fools. But, it's not all rich babies there either. There is a homeless bum man named TJ Ted that loiters around my work with his shopping cart, a two liter of spiked Coke, and some kind-ass stanky feet all the time. Dude is demented and drunk and stinky. I don't really dig him so much. One of my coworkers showed me this video of a stupid fucking Jesus freak trying to exorcise "the demons" from Ted's soul, and Ted putting the fool in his place. My opinion of him has been redeemed. I really think Bill Maher would enjoy this one. Peep!

Friday, December 5, 2008

A new remix for that ass.

I just got done with this remix of 96 Tears by the mighty ? and The Mysterians, and I think it's pretty A.O.K.

Click the link below for a free download.

96 Tears (Booty Bassment Remix)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Booty Bassment returns to Los Angeles

If you want to come to this dumb party, you have to RSVP to



Tuesday, November 18, 2008








Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A whole crap-basket full of fun

It gives me great pleasure to announce to you that the flaming torch of poor taste and unhappiness has not, and will never be extinguished. What I mean is The Worst Music Ever returns to San Diego this Thursday at The Whistle Stop Bar. The powers that be cannot stop us. Makes me feel all special.

Then, Saturday is Booty Bassment San Francisco. Hopefully I will be rubbing my crotch on some unsuspecting young lady as Ryan slaves away in the dj booth.

And then, Sunday marks a very special Worst Music Ever in San Francisco with my guests Lethal Ethan and Mike Doyle! It's going to be sickening.

We will be celebrating the selection of MTV Europe's award winner for The Best Act Ever:


Yes, you heard it right.

That fucking dildo won "Best Act Ever". Wow. Maybe I could get a job djing for MTV Europe parties.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Fifth of November, MMVIII

Today is the day I have been waiting for for a long time. I can't quite say how long. Obviously most of us can safely say, "I am not satisfied!" when it comes to the way our government in the U.S. has been run over the last eight years, and probably longer. I'm not telling you anything you don't know here, and it goes without saying that we are in a bad way right now. And in elections past, I have barely bothered to vote. I just felt as though it didn't really matter what I wanted, or what I felt would be best for my country, because whatever or whoever it was that I was voting for would not be supported by the majority of voters, or would be struck down by some phantom power. But yesterday, my faith in our democratic process was renewed.

I admit this with a measure of embarrassment, which I can't really explain. I suppose it's my fear of commitment coming to haunt me. I always feel like there is some kind of doom lurking around the corner. Maybe because I have been let down so many times by our leaders in the past. But for some reason I believe in Barack Obama. It's inexplicable, really. I know he has a good voting record. I know he is educated and intelligent. I know he has good ideas. I know he has led a wholesome family life. I know he is an eloquent speaker. But the mystery is the hope that he inspires in people. Part of it has to be the fact that he is black, and it makes me think of what the future could hold for high level politicians and leaders in our country- third party candidates, agnostics and other religions beyond Christianity, women, gays, etc. But there is no doubt that he has captured my hope and he did so before he ever became a viable candidate.

I remember when I first took notice of him. I was listening to KPBS in my car on a Saturday, about a year and a half ago. The host of the show was talking to a guy named Nicholas Lovelady who was a reporter for some newspaper in Illinois. The reporter was telling a story about an event he was reporting on where Obama was giving a speech about some new legislation. I was listening to this story right about when the race for the candidacy had started, and no one really new Obama yet. Nicholas was sitting next to a young lady who he had been trying to holler at for a couple months and had just worked up the nerve to talk to. The young reporter stood up to ask a question.

“Wait a minute son, this is for professional media only,” Obama said to him.

“What do you mean? I work for the local paper,” said Nicholas.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were a college student. You have such a baby face,” he said with a grin.

Everyone in the audience turns around to look at Nicholas and laugh. Including his young lady friend. Oooooh. That smarts, right? The dude was so pissed, that his paper printed a call for Obama to publicly apologize. Funny, but true. I am assuming it was a joke, but they did it. So Barack calls this kid. They had a recording of their conversation which they played on the air.

Obama: This is Barack Obama.

Lovelady: Hey, how’s it going?

Obama: Man, I’m calling to publicly apologize for messing up your game. I read that, I felt terrible, I didn’t know there were any ladies around. And I just want to let you know, that I'm deeply sorry.

When I heard that story, I thought to myself, "Now, here is a real motherfucker, man. This is a politician who is willing to call a regular guy up to apologize for cock-blocking him. That is fucking awesome." I know it's sort of a mundane thing, but to me it is a good measure of a man. I know that Obama sounded a little dickheaded in how he addressed this Nicholas character, but he acknowledged his mistake and apologized. Great, just great.

And so I followed him throughout his heated race with Hillary as his campaign was forged. He won the candidacy, and I thought he might be able to do this, but maybe America is still too stupid. Guess what? We aren't. Thank you, my country. Maybe now I won't have to go to my other country, Australia, to see a dentist. We are excited and ready for change. Let's make it happen.

And another thing; Obama, stop making me cry. I feel like a wuss over here. If I have to see that image of Jesse Jackson weeping with joy one more time I'm gonna... probably just well up with tears again. What do you want from me? Jeez.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election

Dis Sadderday

I think it's a pretty nice flier. Me, Rob, and since Lucy can't make it, the beautiful Rachel at the door, taking your hard earned cash. Thanks for that.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Silly stupid shit

See what a Palin presidency would look like by clicking here.

And don't forget...

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Photos from the Anniversary/Booty Shake Contest

Here are the photos from the Booty Bassment Sixth Anniversary Party in August, taken by my friend Lawrence Braun. Not bad, eh?

And the winner is...

I didn't see it, but apparently she showed everyone her vagina. That's how you win a contest. That's called dedication. Good work, friend.