15 Rappers Who Should Have Been Killed Instead Of Pimp C.

If you haven't heard by now, legendary rapper Pimp C of UGK was found dead yesterday morning in his Hollywood hotel room. The cause of death is as yet undetermined. I am writing this blog not only in his memory, but also as a plea to the powers that be that the remaining rappers of value be left alone. I just want to know why. Why, when there are so many shitty excuses for rappers out there.... why another good one? Whoever is in charge of the killing, maybe they would accept my list of expendable "artists":

(in no particular order)

1.Nelly - Your goddamned sing-songy delivery is the bane of my existence. Get a day job.

2.T-Pain - Why, oh why do people like this douche? All I hear is Cher's Believe when this bullshit comes on the radio. And fuck Kanye for putting him on Good Life, too.

3.Eminem - I don't think I need to explain this one, but there has been a pleasant absence lately, which I give him points for.

4.Mims - Mims gets on the list for the stupidest hook ever... "I'm hot cuz I'm fly, you ain't cuz you not." No shit, asshole.

5.Akon - Locked Up and Smack That make me want to gouge my eardrums. "Maybe go to my place and just kick it like Tae Bo." Kick yourself to the curb like Tae Bo, Akorn, and then kill yourself.

6.Soulja Boy - This child needs some serious speech therapy. He cannot enunciate for shit, and he must not be able to see either with his dumb, misspelled name written on the lenses of his sunglasses.

7.Diddy - ...or whatever the fuck he decides his name is these days. Where did he ever get the idea he should pick up a microphone? Bad look.

8.50 fucking Cent - Easily the most over-rated rapper of all time. And he got some chiclet/Bugs Bunny teeth, too. Get the fuck outta here.

9.Yung Joc - "Bim, bam, I know you want some. She CHEWING on the dick like a piece of Bubble Yum."

10.Jibbs - Chain Hang Low has got to be one of the dumbest songs ever made. Who's idea was that to interpolate the "Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?" song... whatever the name of that song is. God, that shit sucks.

11.Fabolous - He is on the list not only for his atrocious rhyming, but also for the plain stupid way he spells his name. Take it back to the drawing board, dick.

12.Ja Rule - This dude thought that his deep, manly voice was enough to float his whole career on. Wrong again, Ja. And this motherfucker has wings tattooed on his back. What a goddamned goofball.

13.Gorilla Zoe - Just watch the Yung Joc video I added below and see for yourself.



14.Jermaine Dupri - If I have to hear the words "You know what it is..." at the beginning of another song, I might go apeshit. Not to mention all the worthless projects he has littered the airwaves with over the years- Da Brat, Kriss Kross, Jagged Edge, Xscape, and...

15.Bow Wow - One of these days I'm gonna smack the smug out of your dirty little dog mouth, Little Tiny Baby Bow Wow. You can't act, either. Fuck off.


With that being said, I would like to propose a list of rappers who should be spared at the chopping block, if it please the gods. Anyone who appears in the photo collage below cannot die, please.




Now, back to the matter at hand... Pimp C. Here are a couple old, but fresh UGK videos, just so you get a picture of how instrumental they were to southern rap and rap in general.



Peep Pimp's Nirvana shirt in this next one.




Now it's time to say RIP PIMP C and sign out. Dude was a certified OG. Thanks for all you did for music, Pimp.