Sorry I jizzed on your bed.

It has been over a month since I posted anything on this bitch. I don't know why. I guess I just got sick of bloggin', as the children say. I guess I was hoping for one of the other "contributors" to contribute. Alas, no such luck. So here I am, blogging about nothing, except for maybe an apology to anyone who cares a trifle for my sorry ass blog.

I suppose I could tell you a story.

April Fool's Day. I decided to play a lil old fashioned trick on my room mate Ryan. First off, Ryan is very tidy. His bed is made everyday, his room is orderly and clean, you get the idea. So, I decided it would be beneficial to our relationship if I pretended that I jacked off on his bed.

First, I selected a porn dvd from my upstairs neighbor's stash... hmmmmmmmmm..... Italian Sausage. Great. I went into Ryan's room and moved his ironing board out of the way. I sat on the edge of his bed, facing the tv, making a butt-imprint in his blankies. I placed an open bottle of nice organic lotion at the foot of his bed. Organic lotion works better. Then I placed an old Booty Bassment t-shirt with conditioner (jizz) rubbed into it on his bed. Next, I took the dvd out of the case and wrote a little note on it that read, "APRIL FOOL'S BRRRRRO!" and put the dvd into his player. I left the case open on top of his tv.

I'm happy to tell you that he fell for it. He thought that our upstairs neighbor Patrick pulled a little sneaky jack-off sesh in his bedroom while I was in the shower or something. I couldn't have set it up more perfectly if I wanted to, because Patrick has been known to do such dirty things in his own room mate's bedroom and forget to clean up his jizz-mop afterward. Totally sick, but so funny.

So, that was fulfilling. If you ever have the opportunity to bum your homies out in this manner, please feel free to appropriate my style.

I guess I'm back. I'll try to be more accountable. I'm sorry. Bye.