I don't even know what to title this one.

Last week I was driving with my friend and we were listening to the Dave, Shelley, and Chainsaw Show on KGB (that's on the FM dial). For those who don't know, it is a long running radio talk show in San Diego. Pretty funny stuff, but questionable politics. Anyway, it made me think of a funny story.

About three years ago, I was working for this car service... you know, I wear a suit, and drive rich folk around so they can get wasted. One of our dispatchers was this girl named Emily who is a producer on the D.S.C. (The Dave, Shelly, and Chainsaw Show), and can be frequently heard on the show. At the time, Shelly from the D.S.C. was using us to get around to parties and shit. So I had to pick Shelly and her husband up from this party at Dave's house. You know, Dave... also from the show. He owns this big place in Poway.

So, I ring the doorbell and they tell me to come in and hang out because they weren't ready to leave yet. They tell me to make myself comfortable and have some food. I am feeling slightly uncomfortable because I am -

A. Overdressed
B. Unfamiliar with these people
and
C. Sober

I see Emily and some other people over by the chocolate fountain, so I join them. I have a couple strawberries dipped in chocolate and Emily begins to tell us that she had recently made a visit to the throat doctor to get her tonsils checked out. They were hurting. The doctor looks at them and says, "You have bruises on your palate. Have you been partaking in some extreme oral sex techniques?" We all started laughing and Shelly turns to me and asks if I was the one bruising Emily's palate. My embarassment reached new levels at that moment. But it gets worse.

Emily says, "Watch this," and picks up a marshmallow and a skewer. She inserts the marshmallow into her mouth and pushes it all the way back into her throat. She fucking deep-throated a marshmallow. Then when she pulled the marshmallow out of her mouth, it was covered in chocolate. It was so disgusting.

I was embarrassed and confused by her antics and wondered if she was trying to hit on me or if she was just in a black out. Even then I couldn't tell she wanted this. What the heck, man.

Anyway, here is a picture of Emily.... she is the one on the left.