My first concert or Metallican't

I know it's old news, but Metallica sucks. Now, I mean. Coincidentally, I was in attendance at the moment when it all started to go downhill for them. And to add to the coincidence, it was my very first concert.

This was the tour supporting their new record, "The Black Album", which was the stumbling block from which they fell flat on their faces. Some argue that ...And Justice For All was the one, but I enjoyed that album then, and I still like it now. Some of my best memories of Jr. High are connected to that record. Like when my best friend Reza and I first got the cd, we took it into his older brother's bedroom to listen to it because he not only had a killer sound system in there, but his room looked like it belonged in a Sharper Image catalogue. So cool. He had a fricking fake brick wall and a fire hydrant in there. So we put the cd in, turned off the lights, and laid down on the floor so we could listen to the new Metallica and watch the laser light machine he had interpret the music for us.

Anyway, the Black Album had just come out (this is 1992), and me and my friend Jason Bowden decided to get tickets for the show at the Sports Arena. Jason ended up selling his ticket to a friend, Tobi Nathaniel. So I walked in the Sports Arena by myself and nervously found my seat and waited, anxious to see the world's best band.

Metallica came on and ruled hard, of course, except for one thing which I will never forget: Kirk Hammett, at the end of a lengthy solo, took his guitar off and played it with his butt. I don't specifically remember how I felt about this at the time, but my entire adult life I have known in my heart that this was the reason that Metallica now sucks so many donkey dicks. Well, that and Kirk cutting his hair, James going in and out of rehab, Lars thinking that they were the best band in the world, and the band as a whole going on a fricking inquisition to stop people from downloading their music (including actually suing their own fans for it).

I guess the first thing that went wrong for Metallica was losing their original bassist, Cliff Burton. This had a irreversible effect on the band that was not for the good. Poor Jason Newsted; he really had some big shoes to fill. In the end, Jason left the band for Voivod, explaining that Metallica had become something that they had all been in reaction against in earlier years. Good man.

The next offense was trying to cross over to a more pop sound. This was just the coup de grace for them. I didn't get into Metallica until right around when ...And Justice came out, so really the first time I realized they were starting to suck was when Kirk strummed his guitar with his butthole.

Anyway, I was telling my friend Melissa about this very story, and I remembered that that concert I was at was taped for a video release. So I took my ass to Youtube, and sure enough, the very Kirk Hammett solo was there. It is pretty long and the guitar-playing-butt isn't until the very end, but I suggest you watch.



Here is Metallica's setlist for the show that night:

1. Enter Sandman
2. Creeping Death
3. Harvester Of Sorrow
4. Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
5. Sad But True
6. Wherever I May Roam
7. Bass Solo
8. Through The Never
9. The Unforgiven
10. Justice Medley
11. Eye Of The Beholder
12. Blackened
13. The Frayed Ends Of Sanity
14. ...And Justice For All
15. Drum Solo
16. Guitar Solo (no! OH NOOOOOO! argh.....)
17. The Four Horsemen
18. For Whom The Bell Tolls
19. Fade To Black
20. Whiplash
21. Master Of Puppets
22. Seek And Destroy
23. One
24. Last Caress
25. Am I Evil?
26. Battery
27. Stone Cold Crazy